Turn off the ‘FANS’! Overcoming certain barriers to Communication!
The meeting had begun and Ratnesh was just waiting for his chance to speak. But as he started to share his thoughts in front of his bosses and his senior colleagues he seemed to lose his confidence, especially when he saw some of his seniors staring at him straight into his eyes.
His voice dipped and he looked out of sorts. He went blank and in a feeble tone concluded his presentation!
Later that day, his colleague Arun joined him for a cup of coffee and asked him what had happened in that meeting and why was he so diffident. “I do not know what happens to me whenever I face some of those seniors. I just forget what I have to say and everything that I had known and prepared for, just seems to vanish into the thin air”, Ratnesh replied.
The next meeting was just a few days later and again the same thing occurred! Ratnesh wasn’t able to share his valuable thoughts in the meeting and in fact it was his colleague Arun who had to step in and speak on his behalf. It was quite humiliating for Ratnesh and also awkward for Arun to do that, but someone had to speak and that too with high confidence!
That evening as Ratnesh was having his dinner, his elder brother, Rakesh saw that he was looking very disappointed and depressed. Ratnesh and his elder brother were very close and hence he was able to share everything with him.
The moment you bring the change in your own perception about your listeners you will feel a deep sense of Conviction along with Confidence. You will not anymore feel that feeling of fear especially because a leader never fears his followers but always inspires them. Secondly, whenever you know that you will be or may be facing a tough audience please write down your thoughts on a piece of paper ......
FANS
Upon hearing Ratnesh and his situation, Rakesh smiled and said to him with pleasant firmness, “it’s time to turn off those FANS!!! Ratnesh was quite taken aback by what he had just heard. He wondered what had the fans to do with his serious predicament.
Rakesh smiled and said, Bro! I do not mean the fans on the ceiling but the FANS in your mind!
Rakesh continued…what you are experiencing is something I too used to go through and what we have known this to be is the combination of the ‘four’ negative and confidence- shattering emotions.
And these emotions are Fear- Anxiety-Nervousness – Stress. These are those emotions that can derail your determination and puncture your passion within minutes.
Ratnesh listened attentively as his big brother started explaining. Always remember, fear comes out of the feeling “what if I fail” and if the feeling gets stronger in your mind then that thought itself creates the fear.
This fear then leads to the other negative emotions of nervousness, anxiety and even stress. Such kind of feelings easily can make you forget all that you had planned and prepared to communicate.
And even if you may manage to complete your communication or presentation to your listeners, it would be bereft of any sort of self -confidence and deep conviction.
Hence it is extremely vital that we all try our best to overcome the fear and thereby also reduce the possibilities of nervousness, anxiety and stress. In fact I have seen people literally shiver and their hands shaking quite vigorously just because of the fear and the nervousness!!!
So what should I do? Ratnesh asked his brother with inspired intent. I will tell you only if you promise to practise all that I share with you with full commitment! As Ratnesh nodded affirmatively, his brother continued.
To turn off those FANS just do four things. First and most importantly change your perception or your understanding about your listeners. Always look at yourself as the leader and make the listeners your followers.
And this is because whenever you may communicate you must believe that you are leading them toward the understanding of your thoughts or perspectives.
The moment you bring the change in your own perception about your listeners you will feel a deep sense of conviction along with confidence.
You will not anymore feel that feeling of fear especially because a leader never fears his followers but always inspires them.
Secondly, whenever you know that you will be or may be facing a tough audience please write down your thoughts on a piece of paper and always keep it ready as you open your communication.
This will always ensure that you will never be out of words or you will never forget as the piece of paper will become your ‘memory card’.
Thirdly, always do a mock practice as well as a mental practice of what you will be saying in that meeting or in a presentation.
The activity of practice will surely enhance your inner confidence and will make you face tough situations with a confident smile! Remember practice makes man perfect…perfection will come only later.
And finally, the last but important thing you must do is to deep breathe. Inhale through your nose deep; hold your breath for at least four seconds and then exhale your breath slowly out through your nose.
By doing this before any meeting or presentation you will enhance the quantity and quality of oxygen and this by itself will relax your tensed nerves and muscles and also will refresh your brain cells and other organs too! Your energies and motivation will also steadily rise!
If you follow these four activities regularly I can assure you that over a period of time you will find yourself fearless and for sure you would have permanently turned off those FANS.
Dear readers!!! I have a strong feeling that Ratnesh has started implementing upon his brother’s practical advice. Now it is up to us !!!