COLD AND AWESOME JULY
July is awesome for many reasons. For one the cold season is guaranteed to keep your man and your woman home and indoors after hours. Second, children will not stay out too late in the afternoons due to the cold – but beware this is also the “no bath” season eh! So be sure to always keep that in check might the bed bugs multiply. And thirdly, it means a change in the family diet at home to suit the cold weather. But 2bags has an interesting theory. He says 9-months after every July there is a baby boom in Fiji. He reckons it’s due to the distant of the moon from the earth at this time of the year, which causes the cold spell and makes humans say I LOVE YOU over 10 times at night when in bed with their spouse or partner…. Sa rauta me baby boom!! But on another note, for the groganation loyal followers Cold July brings out the 2nd phase of the “Keep it In and Keeping it Tight”. These guys are legends, they do not let an opportunity for a mix pass – or rather they just make an excuse to mix, like if Bill was born in December but when guests arrive they will say “today we celebrating Bill’s birthday with a mix.” And the rest is history. But Cold July calls for more planning and preparation and could be to the advantage of those who hate a surprise mix. Here are your tips to survive the July session.
Remember the time when as kids you used to test each other on who can withstand the cold and come to school with no jacket or cardigan and stay outdoors the late? Don’t try this in July especially around the grog sesh – or you will wake up next morning and feel like an ice truck ran over you. Some have related to 2bags their bad experience from the outdoors session in July – some things would get numb while other things would come alive from the down there…!! Or the even the wrong words uttered because the electronic pulses from the brain detours to other parts of the body instead of to the tongue and mouth. Now is the time to move the battle zone indoors, cover up your porch, or set up your sitting room or even your bed room. Dim the lights to set the mood and ensure ventilation is just right.
Remember that cold jacket you threw away somewhere in your bedroom last August? Now is the time to go look for it again plus that pompom that fits always in your back pocket. These are the things you take with you every day just in case you can’t get one sided and get that invite you – but when you arrive at the scene you find out its on a porch.
This month is where those who always eat before the “sit down” are the ones who survive or last the longest. Because the cold takes a lot out of ya. One tip just to avoid those last minute call ups – move your chow time to 4pm… hahahaa! This means you are always ready.
This is the only kind of mix that will satisfy your souls in this weather. Keep it short, keep it sweet and keep the mix up to that lethal sosoko kind. If it’s anything else … than be prepared to visit the loo numerous times and keep the TP in supply for the ladies. Having that sosoko mix also ensures you are in bed with your lady or man with ample time to say I LOVE YOU many times before you move on to Lalala Land.
Now keep it blissful, keep it warm, keep it indoors but most of all keep it sosoko this July.
Taki meda funky!
*PS … These methods have been tested and re-tested over many hours.