Passion to thrive
Sera dedicates her life to saving girls and young mothers
THEY say people have their own hidden gifts or passions that they thrive on. Some discover it early and hone it for good use, while some have yet to identify it, floating along ebbs of what you call life.
For Sera Toloi, her passion to reach out to the vulnerable and exploited is not an easy passion.
The social worker has more than 20 years of experience working with the destitute, the drug addicts, the sexually abused victims to the homeless.
It’s not an easy journey.
Now working as an advocacy officer for Homes of Hope, the mother of two, has dealt with her fair share of vulnerable sexual abuse cases that comes through their
door. “Seeing the many vulnerable cases and helping them pick up pieces of their broken lives can have its effect on you,” she said.
“But knowing that you’ve helped put a life together again, is what matters most.” Sera is one of the many staff members at Homes of Hope, who work for a measly pay to help many of the young victims who reside at the home.
Homes of Hope is the only organisation of its kind in Fiji dedicated towards helping young girls caught up in the cycle of poverty and sexual abuse.
They also take in young teenage mothers and provide a safe haven for them.
The organisation has been operating in Fiji since 1996. “I had no clue what a big role this organisation played in the lives of our girls, until I joined,” said the former Salvation Army social worker. “I noticed the many victims come to this home, faced many stigmatisation like emotional abuse, sexual abuse, trauma and they act out due to these factors. “Their behaviour patterns change and it’s important to identify the indicators so you can help save their lives.
“We have counselling sessions with them. It’s a blessing to see some of them come out of it and have moved on with their lives,” she shared.
Presently, the home has “labs” where the girls are given an opportunity to train.
“For example — land for farming to enable them to be self-sufficient, a bakery to bake pastries, bread, and a sewing lab.
“Upon completion of the training, a graduation is held to award their efforts.
“At the moment we have six children and about 12 girls who are residents. The youngest baby is about 18 months,” said Sera.
Sera added the girls who come to the home are referred from the Social Welfare Department and the Fiji Police Force who work closely with them.
“The cases are chosen after our assessment which we do in 24 to 48 hours. We have a team that sees if the cases are serious, we get them straight away, some others, we visit them either at their home, interview the victim and accompany them to Homes of Hope.
“Some of these girls didn’t expect these things to happen to them ... and it’s always likely the perpetrators are known to them.
“That’s why I’d like to remind families and Fijians out there — if you see a family member who is quiet, not mingling around, or is suicidal — seek immediate help for them.
“There are agencies that can counsel them and identify what’s going on. Sometimes we don’t take notice of what’s going on and these people tend to turn to drugs or violence to get things off their minds.
“These can be prevented earlier if detected earlier,” she added.
Some of the physical signs of indicators of possible sexual abuse, Sera says, could include:
Eating more or less than usual;
Having trouble sleeping;
Soiling or wetting clothes, or bedwetting (or an increase, if it happens already);
Physical pain or itching in the genital area; and Problems walking or sitting.
If your child shows any of the physical signs listed above, take him or her to a doctor right away.
Emotional signs
These are some emotional signs that could indicate a problem, including the possibility of sexual abuse: Severe anxiety (such as nightmares or clinging); Depression (such as withdrawal, low self-esteem, thinking about or attempting suicide, or frequent crying); and
Extreme anger (for example, tantrums, aggression, or increased irritability).