Kids navigating the digital turf
AS we gear up for the new academic year in a flurry of books, stationery and uniforms, the long holidays brought home some equally important elements to re-equip kids with for the new year: navigating and defending their digital domains.
Online Gaming Safety
The Significant Other (S/O) and I frequently woke up to find that our phones were teleporting to the kids’ room overnight. What for? Well apparently, some harmless online gaming.
But besides the annoying task of rousing three grumpy teens/tweens out of bed who approached their chores resentfully, rose a separate concern: what else were they doing online, what were they discovering and what weirdos might they be speaking to?
The latest gaming du jour is the 2018 release Among Us which shot to popularity late last year because of the confines of the pandemic.
The online multiplayer game is set in outer space and has over 60 million daily users. After reading up on it and finding its cartoon-like violence a bit easier on the palate than some horrendous granny-murdering games I’ve come across in the past, we relented our devices in exchange for services rendered (mostly foot massages or toddler entertainment). Yes, kids, life is hard.
Among Us is a social deduction game where players are randomly assigned as crewmates (good guys) and one imposter (bad guy). In order to win, the imposter has to ‘kill off’ his crewmates while pretending to be a good guy. There is minimal gore, with a ‘dead’ crewmate looking more like a colorless turkey than anything else.
In order for the crewmates to win, they must try to discover who the imposter is and vote him/her off the ship or finish their assigned mini tasks without getting killed.
Basically, it is a battle of
lawaki ca because your success relies on how cunning and conniving you can be. I don’t know how I feel about the kids becoming professional liars, however, my primary concern was the players’ ability to chat privately among themselves for deducing purposes.
After all, these platforms are perfect for cyber criminals and people with sinister intentions. What provided some mollification is the fact that you can’t add friends like you do on, say,
Fortnight. Players are randomly chosen every time and you have the option of limiting your players to friends and family by ‘hosting’. In order to host and add someone to your game, they have to enter a key, which is shared outside the game - ideal for a group of siblings/cousins/ friends.
So although Among Us gets a begrudging thumbs up from me, we’ve also discussed these tips from Childline UK with our kiddos to ensure they play safely online, regardless of the game:
■ Choose a safe username. Do not use actual names, nicknames or birth dates.
■ Do not share personal information. No matter how friendly you get with a player, you should never ever share personal information such as password, email, home address, name, date of birth, location or school.
■ Speak to an adult if you’re uncomfortable with the way someone speaks to you in chat or if you’re being bullied.
■ Keep your firewalls/antivirus updated.
■ Use strong passwords.
■ Watch out for scams and cons when buying or selling ‘property’ that exists inside a computer game, in the real world.
■ Set ground rules, time limits and guidelines for playing online.
And though they’ll have minimal to zero online time on school days, it doesn’t hurt to reiterate these points and stay on top of the, well, game.
Digital diligence: relationships, nudes and self worth.
Relationships are hard work. Adult relationships are difficult enough, so picture the turbulent teenage relationship with the dangers of the cyber world at their disposal.
To my Boomers, Generation X and Millennials: imagine if all those bad decisions, break ups, and (un)forgettable moments of our teenage years were recorded on smart phones to live forever and ever on the internet. I don’t know about you but I’m thankful every day for the simplicity of that ’90s Motorola with the external aerial and that wonderful and oh-so-safe Nokia button phone.
And, of course, digital relationships can be fun, exciting and romantic but what happens when it goes off-kilter?
Usually, an ambiguous Facebook quote is posted, a picture cropped or deleted and a relationship’s status is altered.
But unfortunately, things can go very wrong very quickly and a single photo or post can turn an otherwise crappy day into a lifealtering situation.
Some young relationships can become manipulative and demanding, especially when using digital devices to act out their control. Unreasonable demands ensue, such as pestering to block or unfriend people the abuser does not like, forcing partners to share passwords or scrutinising private messages.
Then there are the demands for sexy photos or nudes – those “if you love me, you’d do it” ones.
Men and women fall victim everyday to blackmail with the use of censored photos from once-trusted individuals. And sadly, those that have attempted to or taken their own lives out of embarrassment and shame for having these pictures shared and ridiculed across social media.
Teenaging is difficult enough but today’s teens have the added pressure of having an engaging and trending social media, keeping up with unrealistic beauty standards and basing their selfworth depend on the number of likes and reactions they receive.
As I watch teenagers constantly check their TikTok for views and likes and witness their moods buoying or deflating accordingly, I am trying to be understanding of the whole social media business, even though I privately scoff at the ridiculousness of it all so I did a bit of reading and here’s what I found.
I can help my teens navigate digital drama and help them establish healthy boundaries by:
■ Stressing on the importance of keeping personal information and passwords private.
■ Teaching them to trust their instincts. If they feel uncomfortable about someone’s behaviour or messaging, absolutely stand their ground, speak to an adult, block, report to site administrators and move on.
■ Speaking openly about healthy v unhealthy relationships, i.e, not settling or accepting suffocating or demanding relationships.
■ Having frank conversations about the danger of explicit photos and nudes, about self-worth and respect and that sex does not equate to love.
■ Helping them understand that pornography is an exaggerated and unrealistic portrayal of sex.
■ Showing them the importance of being supportive of friends dealing with online harrassment.
This is such a turbulent time in their lives and although they might test us by rolling their eyes and pretending not to listen, it can’t hurt to keep driving these points home.
As a parent, I strongly recommend watching the Netflix documentary Social Dilemma with the entire family. It features interviews with ex-employees of social media giants such as Facebook, Twitter, Google and Pinterest and helps us understand the manipulative behaviour of social media and shares some sobering food for thought and alarming statistics.
Anxiety, depression, self-harm and suicide attempts in the States have tripled since the internet began and is highest among females of Generation Z.
When we were young, avid pani and hopscotch players, the worst that could happen was perhaps missing out on Xena: Warrior Princess on a Wednesday evening. So while it may be difficult to understand this weird and wack new era, the tech age is not going anywhere. And though we may be a little lost, helping our kids defend their digital domains can go a long way in affording them safety and normalcy.
All the best with the new school year! And now that the home will be filled with blessed silence, I think I may try my hand at this Among Us business.