Finding peace in hard times
FEW things compare to the harrowing pain of losing a loved one. While avoiding these intense feelings of grief may be virtually impossible, coming to terms with the loss is possible.
Tarusila Mei Cokanasiga understands this all too well, having lost two of the most important people in her life
Her son passed away a few years ago and while she was still recovering from his demise, her husband died in 2020 following a short illness.
She said both events turned her life around and made her seek God in a deeper and meaningful way.
This was because she felt there was a void in her heart that no one could fill.
Nowadays, Ms Cokanasiga spends the early hours of the morning reading her Holy Bible or saying a prayer while sitting on a couch overlooking her backyard.
The 65-year-old said praying and seeking divine intervention every day was her way of finding true healing.
She is originally from Matuku in Lau with maternal links to Natumua Village in the district of Tavuki, Kadavu.
Three of her children have settled in Australia while a daughter resides in Suva.
She lives alone in a modest threebedroom wooden home in Waisomo Village on Kadavu and is a member of the Seventh-day Adventist Church.
Ms Cokanasiga shared her life story while having breakfast with a team from this newspaper in December.
She said she had to lose her son and then her husband, to realise the important things in life. It was her turning point.
"The death of my son took a toll on my life. I was affected physically, emotionally and mentally.
"The worst experience for any mother is losing a child."
Ms Cokanasiga sought divine healing. She memorised and hung onto the promise in Psalm 147:3 which says: "He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds".
She said the first step to healing a broken heart was forgiveness.
"One thing I've learnt is that to be healed, you must forgive. One cannot have a close relationship with God, while hating others.
"If it wasn't for seeking divine intervention and the help of my family, I could have lost it too."
As if the pain of losing her son wasn't enough, Ms Cokanasiga said her life became even more lonelier when she lost her husband.
"He provided everything for me, I never worried about anything, whatever I needed, he provided.
"My husband was my life. So when I lost him, I was devastated. He was loving and caring and never laid his hands on me whenever we had a disagreement.
"I was happy in my marriage because of my husband was a good man.
"When I went overseas, he held our family together in Fiji, my children were very close to him.
"This house holds a lot of memories of my son and his father and that I will cherish for a lifetime," Ms Cokanasiga said.