What is natural, anyway?
Recently, Dolce&Gabbana lashed out against gay parenting, siding themselves with a long line of gays, lesbians and heteros. Their arguments are always the same. Chief editor Christina Reinthal counters
> Sometime in mid-March, Dolce&Gabbana gave an interview in which Domenico Dolce stated that he finds LGBT parenting unnatural and somehow not right. The world was in an uproar, and rightly so: It’s grating to have to hear this kind of nagging, not only from crazy heteros but even “from our own ranks“. Aside from that, I’d expect more creativity from a couple of fashion designers, perhaps a new approach on the topic – but they only repeated what’s been said before countless times: Life has a natural course; there are things that cannot be changed; family is one of them. The most popular argument, launched in a nose-crinkled demeanor against LGBT families. All I can say as a lesbian mother is this: Nothing in my life has felt so natural and self-evident as the decision my wife and I made to have a child. That goes for the conception and birth as well. This, by the way, is just as natural a process as a heterosexual woman choosing not to have children and to use protection when having sex with a man. But that line of thought, which time and again forces LGBT parents into having to justify their choices, continues far beyond what D&G dished out in this case. Other opponents like to assume that gays and lesbians have children out of pure selfishness. Anyone who’s had to spend two or three hours alone with a toddler will know that child-rearing is the exact opposite of selfishness. You have to give up pretty much everything: your own sleep schedule, eating habits, leisure time and above all: independence. This brings us to argument number three: “If you have a child, your life is over!“True. But it doesn’t matter. Number four: “This is adapting to heteronormativity.“Actually, since my pregnancy I’ve had more coming-out situations than in the 35 years prior. A childless lesbian, obviously, doesn’t have to explain herself as often as a lesbian enduring gynecological check-ups, childbirth classes, the delivery room and beauracracy. Never before have I felt so much like a lesbian, and thus a deviation from the hetero norm, so visibily as I have in the last five years. Oh, and then there’s the argument that having kids is simply square, which is actually my favorite. To that I say the following: I’ve experienced afternoon coffee in childless households where I felt way more square than being surrounded by baby farts, cookie crumbs, diarrhea and vomit. If Dolce&Gabbana design a chic dirt-repellent blouse, maybe I’d even buy one. < Translation: Joey Hansom
“The opposite of egoism“If you have childen, you have to give up pretty much everything