Navigating the symptoms of child abuse
The woman lovingly attended to what appeared to be a small wound on the one of the child’s fingers. The two spoke quietly as the woman kept rubbing the finger. It was a picture-perfect portrait of a loving mother and daughter but where they were indicated that all was not well in paradise.
They sat in the office of the Child Care and Protection Agency and under the watchful eye of an officer I spoke to the child whom I later learnt was just 13 years old. Before we spoke she threw her arms around the officer and it was obvious that the two had a good relationship. The officer could have passed for a relative, but she is actually the child’s case worker, and the older woman was indeed her mother.
Yesterday ended the world’s observation of Child Protection Week and I decided to speak to a child, as difficult as it was, who was exposed to abuse and was receiving assistance. I asked her how long she had been in state care.
“Only ‘bout a month, since August, but now I happy I back with me mother. I feel nice,” she told me quietly as she continuously touched the small wound her mother was seen tending to earlier. I asked how she ended up in state care. “Me mother and me stepfather bring me because I been behaving bad and me mother didn’t understand wah was happening to me,” she said. I asked her how she behaved badly. “I use to lef and go out with me cousin dem and I use to drink and we use to go on the ball field and she had two boyfriends and sometimes dey use to go in de corner and do things,” the last part of what she said was almost inaudible.
“So me mother like she get fed-up and she bring me here [to the agency] to get help but she didn’t understand wah was happening to me,” she continued.
She paused and I quietly asked her to tell me what was happening to her, she looked at the officer, who nodded a go ahead and she haltingly began to share her horrific ordeal.
“Is me uncle rape me but I never tell me mother is only after I come hay I tell Miss [name of the officer who was sitting in the room with us] and then I tell me mother,” she said.
“Is one day I home with me brother and sister and he come with he car and come inside de house. I been watching TV and me brother and sister went outside in de car and he come and sit next to me and telling me how I look nice and telling me a whole set of stupidness,” as she spoke her head remained bent. At times I had to strain to hear her words. “And den he lift me up and carry me in the room and put me on de bed and start teking off me clothes and I telling he ‘no no’ but he still doing it,” her breathing became rapid and she was close to tears.
“He ain’t stopping and I start fighting up and I scrape he on he face. I start screaming but me sister and brother not hearing. Den I start crying and he tell me how big girls don’t cry,” this time the tears came and she remained silent for a while.
“Den he tek off he clothes, tek off he pants and so and he [raped her]. He put on back he clothes and tell me don’t tell nobody,” she appeared as repulsed as I was at the moment.
I looked at her as she continued to rub the finger with the wound and I wanted to hug her but I didn’t. She cried silently for a while and I felt so helpless. I asked her if she saw the rapist after that. “Yes he use to come by we and me mother and he use to deh drinking together and he use to like laughing at me and I use to feel bad and I just use to get away and go away,” she said.
“But now I going back to school and I happy I back home. Living in de home wasn’t bad but I glad I back home,” she said with a slight smile.
After a period of quiet, I asked to speak to the mother if she was willing; she appeared reluctant and even after the conversation started she did not say much.
According to the officer, the mother has been very cooperative and from all indications she is anxious to see the man arrested.
I learnt from her that she indeed drank with the rapist. I also learnt that she works long hours and wants the man arrested because she is fearful that he may visit her home while she is not there. As far as they know, he does not know he is being actively sought by the police.
“I bring she because I was desperate. I couldn’t do nothing more. I bring she to get some help and advice,” the mother said when I asked her why she brought the child to the agency.
“I now just want he get arrested. Me daughter going back to school and I collect she report and she pass to go to the next class and is sheer ‘very good’ she get in the report,” she said proudly as her daughter looked at her.
There was obvious love between the two. The child’s father died a while back and she now shares a relationship with another man with whom she has children.
“He de suspect something happen, but me ain’t know nothing but dem thing. And he use to even tell me dat I deh with de man [the relative] and I de tell he don’t come back by me,” she said.
But according to Director of the agency Ann Greene when the child was initially taken to the agency he said he did not want the child back in his home because of her behaviour.
The officers had to work with the couple to ensure they understood the abuse the child suffered and that she needed help.
“You see we don’t want to keep children in state care. People always talking that we want to take away children but that is not true. We are happy that she is back home and we are going to work with the mother and continue to monitor the situation,” Greene said.
As I looked at the young teen, still with her head bent, I felt sorrowful and I wondered if returning to her home environment was the best decision. But she was happy to be back home and Greene has time and time again emphasised the damaging effect state care has on children.
She is just one of the many children who are sexually abused and as I left I hoped all will turn out well for this child and her family.
If you know of a child who is being abused please call the Child Care and Protection Agency 24-hour hotline on 227-0979. Please follow-up and ensure that the agency intervenes and the child receives the help needed.