Survivor details ‘pain’ of child sexual abuse, hopes book helps...
She then got a break to travel to Barbados and with the help of others managed to remain there as her mother was a Barbadian national.
Determined
Anderson said she was determined to have a better life and even though she was initially turned back at the Barbados airport on her second trip there, she returned shortly after as her papers were already being processed. Her sons were left with her mother and their fathers.
She lived in Barbados for a few years before moving to the US where she connected with her father, who surprisingly processed her papers and she became a legal citizen. In the meantime, Anderson said, she returned to school and she “did whatever job I could to survive because I know I had children back home that were depending on me…”
She was not afraid of hard work but at the back of her mind she always wanted to complete her education. She returned to high school and later enrolled in college. She eventually sent for her children and her mother. Her second son came later, and she described the experience as “traumatic” as his father had told him that she had abandoned him and was about to throw him under a bus when he saved him.
“And so he came filled with that anger… but we were able to work it out eventually… Even now, I wouldn’t say the relationship is 100 percent because as a result of not having a mother in his life he also had his own trauma. And you know that is why hurt people keep on hurting people, unless you address that hurt and that’s why I decided to write the book,” she said.
Anderson has associate’s and bachelor’s degrees in hospitality and a master’s in business administration with a focus on leadership. She recalled that initially she did “odds and ends” jobs until she became employed with the New York City Department of Education where she remained until she retired eight years ago.
Now 65 years old, she shares that it was her faith in God that sustained her through her difficulties and challenges. “That is what kept me going. He was my rock. He was my everything,” she said.
Anderson never married and she said she pledged not to have any more children. She now has a “reasonable” relationship with her siblings and she has four “delightful” grandchildren.
“I live alone, but I am not alone and I am not lonely because there is much to do. I do motivational speaking. There is always somebody on the phone with a situation to help, so I give back,” she said.
She also travels a lot, which is one of her hobbies. That, and spending her days helping people are enough to give her satisfaction.
“I thank God that I am where I am in my journey. I am not where I want to be because you know you always have to keep striving but I am very, very thankful that I am not where I was,” Anderson said.