All violence is unacceptable and perpetrators must be held accountable
Today I digress again from the usual format of this column to write about a beauty queen in the Cayman Islands. Twenty-four-year-old Tiffany LeAnn Conolly, who is facing six charges of assault in relation to an incident involving an exboyfriend and his father, was recently crowned Miss Cayman Islands Universe.
Time and again we have seen women given a free pass when it comes to violence and domestic violence in general. While the statistics here and worldwide indicate clearly that the victims of domestic violence are mostly women, men are also abused. As the mother of two sons I shudder to think that I am bringing them up in a world that sees nothing wrong with them being punched in the face or kicked in the groin among other violent acts.
It is worth noting here that the horrific death of young Cindy Ramchandar, who was mowed down and then viciously stabbed by her estranged husband, should not have happened. She did everything correctly, left the marriage when violence became a part of it, reported her assault to the police and attempted to keep herself safe. Yet she was brutally killed. Women continue to be killed despite millions of dollars spent over the years to address the issue of domestic violence. Part of the problem is that violence in general is not really being addressed.
In the Cayman Islands case, the six charges against the beauty queen include striking a police officer twice in the face, assaulting a young man and his father, damaging two vehicles belonging to her ex’s family and disorderly conduct at a police station.
According to the Cayman Marl Road (CMR) media outlet, the charges stem from an incident on October 15, 2019, when her relationship with the man ended after three months. She reportedly messaged the former boyfriend: “if you don’t come out you’ll regret it.” He refused and she banged on his door. The man’s father answered because he said he didn’t want her to break the glass, and the young woman allegedly immediately assaulted him.
“She punched the father in the face, head-butted him and scratched him on his forehead. She also proceeded to grab his reading glasses off his face and damaged them. The father called 911 as she continued assaulting him and ripped his shirt. The son, hearing the assault, then came to his
father’s aid and was also assaulted… [kicked] in the groin, [bit] …on his chest, and [slapped]… in the face,” the report said.
When the police arrived she allegedly hit the police officer and behaved disorderly at the station, using profanity in the process.
The beauty queen has since claimed that the story was not factual and pageant committee members went on national radio to defend her, saying that they and the Tourism Ministry stood behind her. It was claimed that there “are two sides to a story” and everyone deserves a second chance. Conolly was charged some eight months ago, but the committee claimed they did not know about it until several months before the pageant and commended her for bringing it to their attention.
Prior to all of this, according to the media report, the beauty queen was found guilty in two separate cases. In February 2018, she was in court for damage to property, carrying an offensive weapon and criminal trespass. That resulted in her being found guilty but no conviction was recorded. One year later, in February 2019, she was back in court for resisting a police officer and assaulting several police officers by kicking them in the groin. Those charges stemmed from an incident at her mother’s home where both her mother and sister were assaulted. However, they declined to press any charges against her. Her family had told the officers that her boyfriend had broken up with her and she “went berserk”. Again, the court opted not to record her conviction but required her to attend counselling.
It is obvious that at the very least, this young woman has a serious problem with anger management. Those close to her should encourage her to seek help, but she should also be held accountable for her acts of violence. Maybe, if she was held accountable the first time, she might not have felt emboldened to continue.
The sad fact is that if she were a man the issue would have been dealt with differently. However, there is still time for the committee to do what is right and strip Conolly of the crown and title. Such an act would at least teach her that there are consequences for one’s action. If the local committee does not act, then perhaps the Miss Universe committee will.
It is time that people understand that acts of violence are not acceptable and that they will be held accountable.