Loving our mothers even when we don’t like...

From 19A

“However, every parent makes mistakes (some more than others), and many unfortunately exhibit behaviours that are mentally and emotionally damaging to their children. These toxic behaviours leave many kids with deep emotional trauma that greatly affects them well into adulthood.”

For her, starting the conversation was a chance to validate the suffering of children from those relationships and hopefully assist in the healing process. She did caution, however, that the Guyanese society does not provide an enabling atmosphere for such conversations to take place.

She received tremendous backlash for starting the conversation.

“I have been shamed so much since I was a child. There is no shaming left to shame me. I am immune to it at this point. So it is easier for me to talk about it at this point because I have already taken away that shame from myself. I don’t attach it to myself so there is no shame people can shame me…,” Hanover had told this newspaper in a conversation on the issue.

International child star and author Jennette McCurdy recently released a new memoir with the title “I’m Glad My Mom Died” in which she detailed mental and physical abuse she experienced at the hands of her mother. In an interview, she said that had her mother not died in 2013 she would not have been able to write such a book as she would have still been controlling her life.

According to Vox, in the book she reportedly “paints a vivid picture of child stardom as a system in which children find themselves turned into walking piles of other people’s cash, and summarily dismantled when they lose their value. It’s damning both for the horrors she experienced as an individual and the systemic failures to which her story points”.

As parents we have to be continuously careful of how we raise our children. There is no doubt that mistakes will be made but we need to accept these and then strive to do better. So many women I speak to refer to the difficult relationships they have with their mothers and it really troubles me. I had a similar experience as well but thankfully before my mom died I made peace with it. However, sometimes the painful memories resurface. Like the sister whose experience I partially chronicled, I try every day to be a better mother.