I can’t live without happiness

Before I met Guan Yu and Zhang Ping when I was in middle school, my life was all about farming and schoolwork — feeding pigs, cleaning up cow manure, weeding the cornfield and cooking for my grandparents.

As a girl from the Yi ethnic group, I performed the string dance at festivals and big events, accompanied by traditional instruments. Even when I was 4 or 5, I could dance in time with the music and perform simple moves.

I thought dance was all about wearing our traditional costumes, singing, holding hands, making simple moves and stamping our feet. That was it.

Then one day, the village head told us over the broadcast system that some teachers from Beijing had come to teach us to dance.

Naduo is an isolated village deep in the mountains. Our parents sent us to the square when they heard about the teachers from Beijing, but they didn’t care what they would teach us.

The couple showed us something different, something we had never seen before.

Guan, tall and handsome, demonstrated ballet hand positions on the muddy ground inside a tent they had brought from the capital.

Bamboo forests lay on both sides of the green tent. The scene was really beautiful, with the bamboo-made ballet barre, the sound of rain dropping onto the tent, the classical music that was playing, Guan’s ballet poses and the raindrops on his finger tips making a full picture.

My love of ballet came from the special first impression Guan gave me at that moment. After that, the couple taught us to dance.

Later, I attended Kunming Art School, a high school in the provincial capital, and continued to study dance. My tuition fees were covered by subsidies provided by the school.

As a member of the Colorful Cloud project, I benefited from it while also asking myself what I could do to help it.

After graduation, my group returned to Naduo and performed for the younger children. Their shining eyes and surprised expressions made me understand my mission.

I taught those “little sisters” to dance, holding their hands and guiding them to extend into the correct position. The wonderful feeling was just like when Guan and Wang taught me years ago.

I was a tough girl who only played with boys. Given my tomboy personality, my childhood dream was to join the army, and it was also what my family expected.

Only after I learned ballet from Guan Yu and Zhang Ping did I realize I could also be soft and gentle. Though my character hasn’t changed a lot, I have explored a new side of myself through dance.

Guan used to bring his students from the Beijing Dance Academy to perform for us in the village. I was amazed at how brilliant and beautiful their dances were. They are my motivation to keep dancing, because I want to be as good as them.

Guan always told me I was so different and so beautiful, although I thought I was nothing special, so why would he deceive me? I was confused for a long time. It wasn’t until my confidence grew that I believed his words and understood how his encouragement had affected me, albeit unconsciously.

I still can’t explain what dance means to me, but dancing makes me happy and I can’t live without happiness.