Managing anger

It's hard to control anger when you're “in the moment”. But you can learn to defuse and neutralise the emotion with these three steps.

#1 First, familiarise yourself with your anger – if you get angry, try to identify what your anger “precursors” were. #2 When you feel your anger mounting, pay attention to the physical symptoms; if possible, identify your inner dialogue and underlying beliefs about the particular situation. #3 Learn calming techniques (mindfulness and relaxation) and reframe your inner dialogue. Restructuring through Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can help you to let go of the inner chaos.

The next time you begin to feel angry, pause and think. Deep breathing has been proven scientifically to help decrease our heart rate; this can help to reengage the prefrontal cortex, which increases our ability to listen and think.

Once the heart rate is lowered, ask yourself, “What am I really feeling?” Explore the feeling of sadness, shame, jealousy or fear that your anger is covering.