The hole in one can raise an or­di­nary golf club mem­ber to God like sta­tus in a stroke…

For the hole in one has mys­ti­cal and mag­i­cal res­o­nances. As the Kilted Cad­die writes, it is our Dead Sea Scrolls, and can raise an or­di­nary golf club mem­ber to God like sta­tus in a stroke…

HK Golfer - - Contents - The Kilted Cad­die

This is ba­si­cally the philoso­pher’s stone of golf. It is as de­sired as Dragon’s gold, but highly elu­sive and hov­ers high. It is the ea­gle, the al­ba­tross, the con­dor mir­a­cle. Some peo­ple never find it in their long and life-con­sum­ing searches. How­ever, it does not al­lay their de­sire for it.

I have had one, and I have cad­died for a lovely young man who had one. Mine was a per­fect 5-iron to the third green at Mor­ton­hall on a beau­ti­ful sum­mer’s evening long ago in the dreamy days of my youth. The young man I cad­died for like­wise hit a per­fect shot, but into one of the most stun­ning golf holes in the world, the 17th on the St An­drews Cas­tle Course, the sig­na­ture hole. Now that was a class act. In fact, he al­most fin­ished off in­cred­i­bly when his 20-foot putt on the Par 5 last slid by for an ea­gle two.

I re­mem­ber how proud my Dad was on my achieve­ment, and in true Scot­tish tra­di­tion bought a bot­tle of whisky to put be­hind the bar at the club for other mem­bers to share in the cel­e­bra­tion. In some coun­tries, this has got a bit out of con­trol, and I do be­lieve in Aus­tralia there is pres­sure to throw a party in­stead. And to this end, there is even holein-one in­surance. Now, this is go­ing a tad far. A bit of the mod­ern lark of sav­ing for your fu­neral costs. I shall cer­tainly be dead when they try and bill me for that.

A good friend at my club, Al, reached heav­enly sta­tus when as a 16-year-old ju­nior, he holed in one on the Par 4 six­teenth. This was the first known hole in one at a Par 4 in the club’s his­tory and el­e­vated his sta­tus con­sid­er­ably. Just a pity for him that it was a pre­dom­i­nantly man’s game at that stage be­cause I’m sure this feat would have helped him pull a few crack­ers at the sum­mer ball. For there is surely a phal­lic dy­namic in golf, like in own­ing a Fer­rari. And this was cer­tainly a coupe at the top end of Tes­tarossa lev­els.

In the en­tire his­tory of the PGA Tour, there has only been one such hole in one at a Par 4. It hap­pened on the 17th at TPC Scotts­dale in the 2001 Phoenix Open and was per­formed by An­drew Magee. It was mar­vel­lous the way he ex­e­cuted it though. Not be­ing a big hit­ter, he played while the group in front were still on the green, as one would. How­ever, maybe through anger at just hav­ing had a dou­ble bo­gey, he melted a ball down the mid­dle to­wards and onto the green whereon stood Jack Nick­laus’s son Gary, Steve Pate and Tom Byrum. The lat­ter was lin­ing up his putt when Magee’s ball came rolling up, through his legs, hit his sta­tionery put­ter and ric­o­cheted into the hole! Byrum’s cad­die, Rusti Uresti, could sim­ply not re­sist the rather fab­u­lous and amus­ing quip: ‘That’s the first putt Tom’s made all day’.

At the Mar­tini In­ter­na­tional in 1971, an English jour­ney­man Pro John Hud­son holed in one on the Par 3 twelfth and picked out his driver on the Par 4 next, hit­ting into the hole again, for the only recorded con­sec­u­tive hole in one. Quite a feat.

There have been five recorded holes-in­one on Par 5’s by all ac­counts and most at dog legs. How­ever, at these ac­com­plish­ments, I stand in ab­so­lute awe and with a mar­ginal de­gree of in­credulity.

And for cer­tain, if any hu­man can carry a drive across St An­drews Bay and into the hole on the Par 5 last at the Cas­tle Course in St An­drews, then I would have to call that most ghostly, if not Lordly. In fact, I would name a car af­ter it - A McLaren Te­stirustiuresti.

But I am now get­ting car­ried away!

An­drew Magee made the only hole in one at a Par 4 in the en­tire his­tory of the PGA Tour, which hap­pened on the 17th at TPC Scotts­dale in the 2001 Phoenix Open

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