MAKING HAPPY ENDINGS

Sharing timeless wisdom through her tried-and-tested practices, DR. LIA BERNARDO spreads a wonderful message of self-love and acceptance

According to Dr. Lia Bernardo, it was Lifestyle Asia who christened her “The Happiness Doctor” two years ago when we first featured her on the pages of the magazine. A well-known figure among Manila’s society circles, Lia has guided many individuals in their personal pursuits of happiness. Considered one of the leading experts in personal growth and development in the country today and an active member of the American and International Board of Psychoneurology, she utilizes leading-edge principles and practices of psychoneurology and integrative health, helping and guiding many into their lives of wholeness, happiness and thriving—as stated in her website .

Lia tells us about the governing principles of her practice, “I practice psychoneurology, which is basically an alternative to psychiatry and psychology. We practice ancient spiritual practices combined with the newest understanding in subconscious language. We're behavioralists and we work on the unconscious mind because the unconscious mind governs 95% of your behavior. And so, having known that, what governs the unconscious mind? The unconscious mind is propelled by patterns and cycles based on your belief systems. So, in essence, any human being on the planet, their lives are simply a result of their beliefs.”

An essential part of the job is spotting people’s limiting beliefs, as these, according to Lia, are roadblocks to happiness. And by moving these roadblocks and recalibrating belief systems, she successfully guides many into finally achieving a life that they actually want for themselves. “When people say, ‘What do you do for a living?’ I say, ‘I teach people how to love themselves and I have the best job in the world.’ I really mean it. Because when you teach people the skills and resources they need to be happy, they need to accept who they are, you give them the wonderful gift of self-love.”

The message of self-love is valuable and relevant in an age where people’s concepts of self-image can seem too unattainable. And with the alarming rise of mental health issues, the need to attune to one’s self is quite imperative. Lia’s lessons have proven to be effective for many. “My definition of self-love is the way you treat yourself and your relationship with yourself. Meaning, it's what you think about yourself. And so, it's so important that we teach people nothing outside of themselves will make them happy. It's not going to be the perfect romantic partner. It's not going to be the perfect home. It's not going to be the perfect car. It's not the perfect job. It certainly isn't money in the bank, although that helps, but it's not. There are a lot of rich people that are not happy. And so, it's so important to understand that there's nothing external that will bring you happiness. It's all inside of you.” Happiness, in essence, is something you create.

The social media conundrum is something that Lia often encounters in her practice. But even with the multitude of articles and papers written about its dangers, she has a far simpler and clearer perspective regarding the issue. “People tend to blame social media. And my answer to that is always that it's all about frequency. It's all about what you allow and don't allow into your space. Social media is a tool, it's something that is non organic. Meaning, you create the social media world you want for yourself. And if you choose to play in the negativity and all that, that's just you. Don’t blame social media,” she says smiling. Curating your social media accounts is an efficient remedy to the problem. She adds, “If you're saying, ‘I cut off Facebook because it's so negative.’ That's what the unfollow button is for. People like a lot of drama and my advice is always make yourself extremely allergic to drama. Because drama’s frequency is very dense and heavy and highly constricting. And what you want is a frequency that's flowing, that's free, and that's loving. Not a frequency that's constricted and heavy and difficult.”

Numerous followers and regular clients are testament to the invaluable help that Lia has given over the years of her practice. But one thing that Lia advises is that people who seek her help need to be self-aware that they themselves need to put a lot of work to make the sessions successful. She shares, “You have people that hold on to their beliefs for dear life. Which is why when I see clients they need to sign a contract for a six-session minimum, which is renewable on the third session, because after the third session, if I see they're not putting in the work, I don't continue. Because the reason for that is the sessions will not be successful. Unless the patient's putting in the work. And I have a waitlist. So, I only want to work with people that are willing, ready, and able to put in the work for themselves. And not to come into my office and expect me to do the work for them, it would never work.”

With droves of clients pouring out their personal issues, one would think that the job is mentally and emotionally taxing. But with years of experience, Lia shares how self-optimism and positive outlook helps greatly. “In psychoneurology, we refer to it as vibrational hygiene. It's being calibrated towards your frequency. It's not doing anything that brings you pain. You only focus on doing things that bring you joy. So, I only surround myself with people that make me feel good. And when I'm feeling good, I'm able to help others. My morning ritual is extremely long. I wake up. I have my coffee because that's non-negotiable. After my second cup of coffee and after scrolling through Instagram, everything goes down when I do my meditation. And then I do my Qi Gong. And then I go in front of the mirror, and I recite affirmations. And so, this is my sacred morning ritual, because it determines my day. I also will not wake up without feeling gratitude in my heart. So before getting out of bed, I will help myself and be grateful for at least two or three things that are in front of me—usually, it's the aircon, but sometimes there are two or three other things that I'm grateful for,” she says laughing.

A woman with a winsome attitude and a noble purpose, Lia is definitely one who is in many ways, is living a meaningful life. Ending our insightful afternoon discussion, Lia shares one final piece of advice, “Like who you are. Accept who you are. Love who you are. And the rest will take care of itself.”