Confuseddesi inAmerica

A Lucknow boy offers an engaging and thought-provoking account of learning to bridge the chasm between the world views of the Indian urban elite, where he grew up, and small-town America, where he settled, says Vikram Johri

But living in America proved to be an education. One time, Singh called a colleague a “black ass” jokingly because another colleague had done so, and he had to be told that blacks could say that to one another but other races were not supposed to. He took some time wrapping his head around the fact that his boss, a female, had been married to a man but now lived with a woman.

His idea of America underwent other changes. It is the land of prosperity, but not uniformly so. His colleagues struggled to make ends meet, working extra hours to afford a babysitter or pay the mortgage on their house. The level of deprivation was different from India’s, but that was little respite for someone like Ron, Singh’s colleague, who worked two shifts and battled high blood pressure.

Social dynamics and attitudes to family differ significantly, Singh learnt. Many people who struggled financially had become parents at a young age, sometimes when they were not even out of school. This affected their prospects. When Singh first started working as a salesman, he was ashamed of the fall in status this signalled. But in due course, he came to appreciate that his lot was better than that of some of his colleagues.

Ultimately, Singh came to relate with his colleagues and customers in a way that he struggled to around his wife’s friends and peers. While he felt he belonged to the latter group, he found that their academic discourses could tilt towards the incomprehensible. At work, he encountered people who were less educated but whose stories were richer because their lives were grounded in the real and immediate.

Sometimes, their ignorance brought him unexpected gains, like when he became the store’s contact person for any customer from the east, be it West Asia, Afghanistan or Bangladesh. Singh didn’t mind knowing and sharing the address of the local halal shop if this interaction closed a sale that earned him a commission.

America, naturally, changed his perception of India, too. When he returned to Lucknow for the first time in two years, he noticed, with piercing clarity, the fate of those less fortunate than him. His maid was aghast to learn that he had to do his own dishes and the chaiwala he frequented in Hazratganj refused to take money from him on the condition that he would not forget “this poor man”.

Singh is now a full-time writer who travels with Holly on her research projects. They have a daughter and divide their time between India and the US. HowMay I Help You? is a simple book, but it rises above its ordinariness due to its writer’s keenness to document for his readers a world at once fascinating and disconcerting.

When Singh first started working as a salesman in the US, he was ashamed of the fall in status this signalled