“I’VE TRIED SAYING IT BUT NOTHING’S CHANGED”

Not all those who dare win. Sadly. When we’ve found the courage to say what we want, then had to say it again with little or no result, it’s either time to give up, get out, or start saying something different. If the relationship is new, his ‘not hearing’ could be a big red warning flag; he’s out for himself and won’t put himself out for you—or maybe you haven’t learnt to speak each other’s language yet. Next time, tell him in very simple terms. If he still doesn’t listen, you might have to consider your options. If he won’t give a little in bed, what are the chances of him making room for your needs in the rest of the relationship?

If you have a long-term partner and have recently found your voice only to find he’s not listening anyway, don’t give up. Tread carefully around his fragile ego and use positive, upbeat language. If you’ve tried all that and he still doesn’t seem to care, you know he’s a selfish tosspot who doesn’t deserve you—what you do about this is up to you.