Ask Cosmo Anything
From random little issues to major life dramas, we’ve got your back.
Q.I have no problem meeting men, but I’m embarrassed to invite them home. I live with my mum and brother; we don’t have much money, and our house is in urgent need of decorating. Now I’ve started seeing someone I really like. How can I make sure this doesn’t end like the others?
A. Have you heard the old phrase ‘poor but honest’? You’re poor. So what—as long as you are honest too. Any man worth knowing will care more about who you are than how much you have. Explain your situation to the new man before you invite him home. And before his visit, put out some flowers. They beautify surroundings and signify good taste. Meanwhile, focus on long-term plans, including finding a place of your own, or a flat share with like-minded people. And explain to your new man how you’re working towards independence.
Q. Neither I, nor my boyfriend of several months is very good at expressing emotions. Now I worry I’ll never really know how he feels, as I stopped us from discussing that kind of stuff. How do I tell him I want to try to talk again?
A. People communicate with so much more than words—a look in your eyes, a gentle squeeze of the hand...if you can’t tell him how you’re feeling, talk about what you’re thinking: your hopes, dreams and memories. And ask about his—your interest will give him the confidence to say more. In due course, words for feelings will begin to spill out too. And why not write down those feelings? Read it to yourself and, when it feels right, send them to him to read.
Q. I recently had a miscarriage. I never knew I was pregnant, and I’d already split from my boyfriend. I didn’t tell him, as my two friends said he’d hate me. They said I eat so little I must have starved the baby to death. I feel so guilty.
A. It was not your fault. With any pregnancy, depression can follow, and that is what you’re enduring now. As for not knowing you were pregnant, cessation of periods can also be a symptom of an eating disorder—this may be the case with you. It is too late to do anything about your accidental miscarriage, but please do something about yourself. See your GP and, if our suspicions about anorexia are right, ask to see a counsellor. And those ‘friends’ of yours? They’re not! You’ll find much better friends when you find yourself again.
Q. I love Beyoncé’s new pixie cut! I want the same, but am worried it’ll look terrible...
A. You’re right, Beyoncé does look really hot with her new cut. But no need to be afraid—there’s a perfect pixie for every face shape. If you have a high forehead, like Miley Cyrus’, ask for longer layers and a fringe for better proportions. Round face like Ginnifer’s? Ask your stylist for some volume at the crown and sides. Finally, remember the fringe matters most—a short one makes the look sharp, drawing attention to your cheekbones and lips; while longer bangs are softer and more feminine.