Ask Cosmo Anything
From random little issues to major life dramas, we’ve got your back.
Q. I was out with this guy I’ve been dating and he got drunk and told me he loved me. Did he mean it? I’m so confused.
A: Alcohol affects different men in different ways. It slows down the brain’s frontal lobe, which controls judgment and inhibition. So yes, it is possible he was sharing feelings he didn’t have the guts to express sober. But when guys drink they also become sexually motivated. So the L-bomb could just be him subconsciously trying to get into your pants. Do you want him to mean what he said? Then ask him if he remembers what he said and leave the question open ended. That way he’s likely to share his true thoughts. If he admits saying it but doesn’t give an explanation, ask him point blank if he meant it—it’s blunt but that’s the only way to know. The words did leave his mouth and you have every right to know if they were legit.
Q: I’ve been getting into a tonne of arguments with my parents— they keep nagging me about something or the other 24/7. I moved out a year ago and they still feel like they need to take decisions for me like whom I should meet, how I should spend my money etc. How do I get them to stop? A:
It can be frustrating, but it’s important to realise where their need to nag is coming from. “Parental nagging is almost always about fear—fear that we might make a mistake that they can’t protect us from, fear that we might choose a path that takes us away from them, that they may lose us or others might hurt us,” explains relationship expert Susie Tuckwell. So it’s all about approaching them in the right way. If your parents are good at listening, sit them down and say that it’s time you started making your own decisions and that you are willing to take the consequences of making the wrong ones, because that’s the way you’ll learn. Tell them that you appreciate their advice, and when you want it, you will definitely ask for it. This shows them that they’re totally still needed in your life; just not every two seconds.
Q: I broke up with my ex and now he’s being a complete jerk. He’s going around spreading rumours about me and generally making my life hell. How do I get him to stop? A:
Try and disengage from him completely—take him off your Facebook list etc. Give him time to lick his wounds—he’s hurt and angry. Hopefully he’ll feel like a git and apologise eventually. Don’t involve your friends in the drama. It can be good to approach him calmly to find out why he feels the need to say nasty things about you. The worst thing you could do is provoke him publicly—like on social media, so no matter how tempted you are, do not send out angry posts into cyberspace.
Q: I’ve got a lot of my mother’s plaid outfits from the ’80s but how do I update them for current times? A:
You’re in luck! Rich tartan prints are majorly trending right now. You could mix and match different plaid prints or opt for a shorts-suit combination. If you’re looking for something more easy going, pair tartan pants with a silk shirt and hightop sneakers. Our fave: toughen up a dress or kilt with a leather jacket.