Break Your Bad Guy Habits!
We broke down four classic man ruts we all fall into and how to break out of them like a triumphant rom-com heroine.
About the Assh*le:
This is the guy who talks his way backstage at a Kanye concert, makes out with you in front of Yeezus himself, doesn’t text you again for two months, then wants to go out again like your first date was yesterday. He’s totally full of himself yet weirdly charismatic—all at once. "Everyone's attracted to confidence, so it's easy to fall for these guys," says Chiara Atik, author of Modern Dating.
HOW TO BREAK OUT:
Throw a bottle of fancy cologne his way, and when he looks the other way, run! Seriously though, delete the dude from your phone, and the next time he texts you at 2am, write back that you have a boyfriend now—whether or not that’s actually true.
WHO TO BREAK OUT WITH:
The 2014 lumberjack. He’s take-charge, outdoorsy, always taking you on adventures. He packs the excitement of an a-hole, except he actually has hobbies other than trying to get into your pants.
About the Man-Boy:
Peter Pans are just fun. Man-children are so spontaneous, they make you feel like you just pounded three Red Bulls. It’s not until you wake up at 10am on a Wednesday with a throbbing hangover that his devil may-care-ness loses its charm. Karishma M (not her real name), 28, rebounded from a break-up with a string of Peters, saying they “felt so laidback” that it seemed they wouldn’t hurt her.
HOW TO BREAK OUT:
Start hanging out where more mature guys do. “Go to events that have to do with your hobbies,” says Atik. Ask friends who have their sh*t together to set you up with proper, functioning adults.
WHO TO BREAK OUT WITH:
The Adventurer. This guy’s fun like a Peter Pan, but he has the job and the paid vacation days to back it up. Hola, cliff diving in Ibiza!
About the Men BF:
This male equivalent of an easy-listening station can be tempting. He’s super sweet (like vanilla ice cream). He’s nice to your mom! He even sends you flowers for no reason (even if they’re never the ones you told him you like). But there’s no fire in your loins (he’s big on missionary, and that’s about it), and you can’t stop thinking about that annoying Sex and the City episode about zsa zsa zsu...
HOW TO BREAK OUT:
If you’re staying with him only because you’re afraid of the alternative (#ForeverAlone), it’s time to stop settling for just anyone and get comfortable being solo. Translation: dump him now.
WHO TO BREAK OUT WITH:
No one! Girl, do you. It’s better to be alone than to settle. Just being out in the world and leaving your comfort zone opens you up to attracting a guy for whom you might actually feel a spark...
About the BM:
There’s something weird lurking in his closet— perhaps a Breaking Bad- style secret meth lab? It’s all so torturous and passionate—especially in bed— that you resolve to 'fix' him. “Women like to think of themselves as the magic key that unlocks the perfect guy inside,” Atik explains. Ekta S, 25, has been stuck in a rut of emotionally unavailable men for years. “It always seems so exciting,” she says. Until his ex pops out of a bush in prison black and white.
HOW TO BREAK OUT:
A more constructive way to tap into your nurturing side? Start volunteering. It’ll feel a lot better than dating dudes with shady records.
WHO TO BREAK OUT WITH:
The Culture Buff. He’s experienced and deep, minus the secret family across state lines.