If you were a sound, you would be womp womp. You’re like a sad clown. People don’t laugh with you, they laugh directly into your face hole and then steal your lunch money. You’re such an easy target that even nice people and babies like to screw with you. What happened to your dignity? Stop being such a sucker! Remember when Stuart Smalley said, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” It’s may not be true, but start saying it anyway!
Sure, maybe sometimes you walk out of the bathroom stall with tissue paper on your shoe or you trip over your own feet at the Oscars, but people still respect you. You’re not what anyone would call intimidating, but you can still throw some shade. If you want to experiment with feeling more authoritative, pull on a blazer and practice some power poses. Otherwise, you got this.
When Darwin wrote about survival of the fittest, he was totes picturing you. You are the human equivalent of fiveinch black stilettos. #SeriousBizness. Everyone wants to know your opinion, and when you speak, the room goes silent. People even bring you random gifts like tickets to see Britney in Vegas. Use your power for good! You have the perfect personality to pull off a Ponzi scheme. Resist!
Juliette from Nashville Katherine from The Vampire Diaries Ashley from Revenge Cersei from Game Of Thrones Sue from Glee