‘My silence killed me’
he ordeal though is far from over. I might not be in police custody at the moment, but the month-long trauma still haunts me. In fact, I don’t quite remember the last time when I had a good night’s sleep. The humiliation was unfathomable and needless to say, has had an impact on me so longlasting that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get over it. It’s put my family through unnecessary embarrassment and society can be very unkind in passing quick judgments and quicker comments.
Having represented the country in prestigious international meets and performing out of my skins to clinch gold and silver medals, were charges of gender fraud and rape all that I deserved as the ultimate prize? It’s just sickening to recall and talk about everything that I went through since June 14 this year. First of all, when gender tests were forcefully conducted on me at a private nursing home following that unscrupulous woman’s (Anamika Acharya) com- plaint. Why was she spared the medical test when she claimed I had raped her? What exactly was the reason that made the cops and doctors — considered to be protectors given their noble profession — act like predators? Why weren’t any female police officers present there when I was arrested? Why was I kept in a cell with male prisoners that horrific night? Who’ll answer these? I would also like to know whether gender tests can be done forcefully without the concerned individual’s consent. But first of all, what was the reason behind cops refusing to listen to what I had to say and dragging me into the police station?
Sometimes I do wonder if there’s any potent force behind shoring up that woman. If not, then how does she put up a brave face and still claim I’m not a female? At the same time, she herself admitted of being forced to level rape charges against me under someone else’s orders. So are these not proof enough of her being guilty? She remains spotless goes scot-free and is not even pulled up for the perjury she had committed.
Again, this question of whether any political group is her actual source of strength might crop up again. But here too, the answer is pending. Who is backing her when she doesn’t even own a ration card or any other valid identity proof as far as I know? The entire matter is more than fishy.
First, I had to stay at a rented house and then when I returned to my flat after she called me on the pretext of discussing something “important”, I was stunned to see her along with cops, ready to “greet” me.
Now when I look back, I can only think of the huge mistake I had made in trusting that woman. I shouldn’t have sympathised with her sorry circumstances then and allowed her to stay in my house.
And I want to clarify that I had no such (physical) relationship with her as has been mentioned everywhere. But later on, I could notice her greed for money, which gradually became clearer when she started blackmailing me every now and then. I’m a very trusting person, so initially I just thought she was saying extreme things in a fit of rage. Then I slowly realised that she was actually blackmailing me. Fearing that any drastic step against her would make matters worse and tarnish my image, I preferred to remain quiet. I realise now that it only added to the problems. My silence just killed me.
Normally, an individual feels a little relieved when he/she’s out on bail. In my case though, it’s about dealing with curious looks from every nook and corner and replying to unwarranted queries daily that at times force me to remember the ugly incident — which I want to forget at the earliest. Nevertheless, I’m thankful to all those persons who have vouched their support for me. I view their presence during such hard times as a blessing. I still pursue my dream of starting an academy for children who want to make it big in athletics.
I hope (West Bengal) chief minister Mamata Banerjee and sports minister Madan Mitra will come out with their share of assistance to enable me give something back to the sport that earned me accolades. I’ll be meeting Didi soon to discuss this issue with her. As of now, I may appear destroyed, but by no means am I defeated. I shall fight against all odds to make sure that justice is delivered.
As told to Sayak Banerjee