ENCOURAGED TO SHINE
When one partner is not as well-known as the other, letting them have their moment in the sun is vital
When Gauri Khan launched her new decor store recently, superstar spouse Shah Rukh Khan stayed away from the event. It was a good move — it ensured that the spotlight stayed firmly on Gauri and her venture.
In a relationship where one partner is better known or more successful, it can be easy to overshadow the other. Ensuring that the low profile partner also gets his or her moment to shine requires a fine balancing act. How do you show support but not divert attention away from a partner’s accomplishments?
Divya Kumar Khosla, the wife of T-Series honcho Bhushan Kumar, says, delineating roles can be a good way to maintain the power balance for a couple. Divya, who briefly worked as an actress before settling down to marital bliss, and more recently, filmmaking (she directed Yaariyaan), says her husband is encouraging, but never interferes in her work. “Bhushan has always stood by me, in everything I do. We have seen the ups and downs of life together and our relationship has grown strong because of it,” she says.
Expressing your appreciation for your partner’s accomplishments in their professional sphere is vital, celebrity couples say. Maybe your partner’s work hasn’t brought them as much of the limelight or success as you, but your acknowledgement and support of what they do is a great way of showing gratitude for their companionship along your own journey to the top.
Nakuul Mehta (popular as Adi from the TV show Pyaar Ka Dard) ensures that his wife Jankee, a singer, always knows how much he appreciates her talent. “Jankee has seen me struggle and also become a popular TV star,” Nakuul points out. “She is a talented singer and I will always encourage her to fol- low her dreams. I am confident she will be a renowned singer one day — but she doesn’t need anyone to back her. Her talent is her strength, and it will take her places.”
Sometimes, the low-profile partner may prefer to stay out of the limelight because they prefer to keep it that way. Their wishes must be respected in that case. “Sarita, my wife, prefers to stay out of the limelight and that is her decision,” says actor R. Madhavan. “She has played an important role in my styling (for the screen). I respect her talent and her decision not to show up at every film party. You can call us boring people! I will always encourage her and her talent and support her but she is confident and doesn’t need to flaunt my name.”
In all of this, c o mmuni c a - tion is key, says Mumbai- based counsellor Dr Pradnya Ajinkya. “The greatest thing a person can do for their significant other is help them rise,” she says. “Encouraging your partner goes a long way in building confidence in the other person.”