‘Understand that your marriage is your choice’
QI am a 25-year-old girl and have been married for the last two years. Currently, I am feeling very unhappy about the fact that I married at 23. I feel like I should have gone out there, travelled, met a few more people before I decided to get married. My husband loves me a lot but it is me who has a problem with the life I am leading. I can’t stop thinking about how life would have been had I been single. People my age are attending parties while I’m taking note of which groceries I need to stock on. Please help.
Comparing yourself to other girls your age who, according to you, are having a time of their life while you have chosen a different path makes you painfully aware of what you are missing in life. It seems more like the dilemma of the road not taken. When you feel a sense of unfairness that you have not explored life and settled in marriage too early you could be indulging in self-pitying.
Remember the grass is always greener on the other side. Regrets can be very unsettling and will only lead to chaos in life. When you are faced with dilemma of personal decisions especially with regards to marriage you must have looked at the pros and cons of it. Remind yourself what went in favour of taking the decision to get married.
Step back and realise that the marriage was your choice, and only you can define what makes you happy. Take note of your sense of dissatisfaction. Indulge in positive self talk and appreciate simple things in life. Give yourself some time to reflect on what you are probably taking for granted. This query has been answered by Dr N. Sucharita PhD, From Roshni Counselling Centre, Hyderabad, 040-6666 1117/18 Write to us at feedback.age@gmail.com with “expert advice” in the subject line