FODA is a real thing in 2021
The pandemic has played spoilsport with dating norms, and turned the clock back. But is there a silver lining?
The term ‘philophobia’ means an unreasonable fear of falling in love. However, in this pandemic period, a new fear has been gaining ground – the fear of dating. It has taken such strong hold that relationship experts are officially calling it FODA (Fear of Dating Again).
Ever since COVID-19 began to spread, singles across the globe are experiencing an unusual decline in interest in dating. The need for self-isolation, restrictive lockdown measures and social distancing have decreased the urge to meet prospective partners. And it’s not just that health guidelines have to be followed. For all age groups of people dealing with the loss of jobs, and also with death and social anxiety related to the pandemic, the toll on mental health and well-being has changed the dating landscape.
WITH FEAR OR FAVOUR
COVID-19 has certainly changed the way we all experience the world. Social anxiety has risen after more than a year of quarantine. “It is completely understandable to be nervous about socializing and dating, since everyone has experienced this situation differently. The challenge for singles in
2021 is that a single hook-up, a kiss, cuddle or exchange of body fluids could potentially kill you,” says Dr Prerna Kohli, a clinical psychologist.
She cites some noticeable behavioral changes. “FODA has manifested in many ways - some people have sworn off casual dating altogether. The serious issues of the past year have made them rethink their priorities and now they want
something serious. On the other hand, lots of people are excited about getting back to normal going to clubs and engaging in casual dating and hook-ups again.”
A STEP BACK IN TIME
With the rise in popularity of online dating platforms, the days when people were apprehensive about interacting with complete strangers have gone. A lot of young people as well as older singles are more accepting of the concept of dating people out of
their social circle, says brand consultant Desiree Anwar. She adds, “The concept of casual dating was quite prominent before the pandemic. But unfortunately, the sudden need for isolation and social distancing has induced fear and pressure in people. Social media interaction through dating apps has become a form of ‘entertainment’, and most people are skeptical about meeting. Most online contacts refrain from commitments or a relationship. People are scared to invest time on a stranger and they feel depressed,
thinking of a possible heartbreak.”
TAKING IT SLOW
The old-school dating and relationship practices are back in vogue, as most singles have been forced to re-think the ‘left and right swipe’ culture of online dating catalogues. The idea that one has to slow down and look beyond hook-ups is quite unnerving for some people, says Anadita Singh, a communications expert. She says, “The pandemic has put a stop to fast-paced life and with fewer distractions and sparse social life, many people are taking dating seriously now.”. She adds that the challenge is to feel a meaningful and deep connection which goes beyond the typical hook-up without fear.
BLESSING IN DISGUISE
Ever since the lockdown, singles who blamed dating portals for diluting emotions in a relationship, are now happy to have a medium for interacting with new people. It is also a good way to screen people before meeting them in real life and could be a safe way to explore dating with caution.
According to life coach Anamika Yaduvanshi, virtual dating is a blessing as it allows you to explore a lot about a person before you meet. She focuses on a silver lining in this dark scenario “Sharing emotions virtually and being available online for each other can create a strong bond between two people, which physical dates may take longer to achieve. After a few virtual meetings, you get to know a lot of things about the other person, and that paves the way for the one-onone meet with precautions in place.”
“It is completely understandable to be nervous about socializing and dating, since everyone has experienced this situation differently. The challenge for singles in 2021 is that a single hookup, a kiss, cuddle or exchange of body fluids could potentially kill you,”
— Dr Prerna Kohli, clinical psychologist