‘Focus on your interpersonal relationship’

QI am a recently married man. I have a doubt whether I’m satisfying my wife when we have sex. How much time does it take for a man to satisfy a woman sexually? Is it 10 minutes, 20, or 30 minutes?

A There are no standards or fixed times (durations). It varies from individual to individual. Check with your wife whether she feels fulfilled during sexual intercourse or not. Unless you create confidence in her that you will not take her amiss, she will not tell you the truth. Spend more time in foreplay and get her highly aroused before starting the genital intercourse.

Observe her expressions and you will soon learn whether she is satisfied or not. It may take time but you will surely learn to assess her level of satisfaction. Most importunately, focus on your interpersonal relationship and communication. If they are good, then satisfaction will automatically follow.

Q

I am a 21-year-old man and I am having an affair with a married woman. Even though we have sex, I know that she also has sex with her husband. She has two children. We started having sex after she gave birth to her second child as she got herself operated on so that she doesn’t get pregnant anymore. We don’t have sex often but when we do, it is unprotected sex as there is no fear of her getting pregnant. However, she has unprotected sex with her husband and me. Is that dangerous, and can I get AIDS?

A

Protection in this context refers to (1) protection against an unwanted pregnancy and (2) protection against Sexually Transmittable infections. The surgical method of birth control (tubectomy in women) gives protection only against an unwanted pregnancy and not against STDs. For this protection you have to use a condom. If your woman friend’s husband has HIV /AIDS from any source, then your woman friend runs the risk of contracting it. And from her you may also contract it.