Taking pride in being a true ally
While we celebrate everything that June, the Pride Month, stands for, we must also look within to understand if we’re putting up a ‘performance’ in the name of supporting the LGBT+ communities
On 6 September
2018, a five-judge constitutional bench of Supreme Court of India invalidated part of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, making homosexuality legal in India. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights in India have been slowly but steadily evolving in recent years.
While many have been vocal about their support and solidarity for the
LGBTQI+ communities, there has also been a performative allyship, quite possibly harmful for the community they claim to support.
An ally is someone from a non-marginalised group who uses his/her privilege to advocate for a marginalised group. They transfer the benefits of their privilege to those who lack it. Performative allyship, on the other hand, is an act of support done in the expectation of a reward instead of one’s devotion to any cause.
DANGERS OF PRETENTIOUS SUPPORT
To Aarathi Selvan, a clinical psychologist and founder and director of Pause and Perspective, a Hyderabad-based mental healthcare organization, there’s more to being an ally than merely forwarding these messages on social media so you can look woke.
Aarathi offers a list of tips for being a true ally. “First, see criticism as an opportunity for growth. Take responsibility, apologize and change your behavior when you’re called out for not recognizing your privilege or for acting in a hurtful way intentionally or unintentionally. Then, seek emotional support from other allies. Do not expect members of marginalised groups to support you as you work through your internalized racism, classism and other prejudices. Recognize that thee support should come from other allies,” she says.
While in the recent past the support extended towards the LGBTQIA+ group has seemingly increased, one must understand that not every show of support qualifies as allyship or is helpful. In fact, pretentious support is very easy to spot for the unprivileged lot.
Sometimes, points out Aarathi, well-meaning support too could often offend if not done rightly.
HOW TO BE A REAL ALLY
Counselling psychologist Shazia Jiwani lists some ways to be a true ally to LGBTQIA+ community
● Recognize and use your privilege for good and though it can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, anger, etc. do not dwell on those feelings; instead, channel it productively.
● Listen to the LGBTQIA+ folks and their concerns to be there for them.
● Research on the issue and speak up for them, thereby providing them the privileges they deserve.
● Take your online activism into real-life activism, for an authentic ally would amplify the voices of those less-heard and actively show their support.
● Use the right language to address LGBTQIA+ folks and educate others too.
● Develop safe spaces for them where they can exist peacefully without discrimination and judgement.
● Support LGBTQIA+ business and fundraisers and offer financial support so they don’t face unemployment, homelessness and lack of family support.
● Empathize with the adversity they face in terms of gender and sexuality identities and help them deal with it.
● Ask reasonable and educated questions after brushing up on your knowledge instead of expecting people from the LGBTQIA+ groups to talk about their trauma and validate their existence.
● Get comfortable with being uncomfortable and while it’s completely okay to make mistakes, it’s equally important to deal with them and move forward.
We don’t need performative allyship this June. Support businesses who actually show up for the LGBTQ community every day.
— PADMA LAKSHMI,
Indian-American author.
Aarathi Selvan, clinical psychologist and founder and director of Pause and Perspective, a Hyderabad-based mental healthcare organization, points out some examples of performative allyship
● Wishing a queer acquaintance ‘happy pride’ on queer month tokenism
● Pink washing done by organizations to sell their products, claiming their support of the LGBTQIA+ group while constantly misgendering trans people and assuming everyone is rather heterosexual or cisgendered in any space.