The lonely ‘connections’
Between 2012 and 2018, 36 countries saw a sharp rise in feelings of loneliness among teenagers, with a higher increase among girls. And their smartphones have a connection
Elders may not be happy with adolescents’ smartphone usage, but many adults themselves overuse their cell phones. For any age group, the ideal way of using smartphones is in a balanced manner that is not detrimental to their mental and physical health.
It’s the most common sight in any home. The teen in the house would be alone in their rooms, furiously typing or running their fingers endlessly over their smartphones — chatting, updating their status or simply watching something. They’d even tell you that’s how they “connect” with the world.
As commonplace as the above scenario might seem across many a household, deep down inside, many of these adolescents are lonely — sometimes unbearably so!
A recent study also suggests that loneliness among adolescents across the world has skyrocketed since a decade ago. The study associates the issue with the excessive use of smartphones among teenagers.
The report that appeared on 20 July
2021, in the Journal of Adolescence, states that feelings of loneliness among teenagers rose sharply between 2012 and
2018. The study, conducted across 36
Dr Era Dutta, Consultant Neuropsychiatrist & Life Wellness
coach
countries, had an even more alarming revelation — they found loneliness higher and increasing among girls.
Now, experts cite the study to warn of disastrous consequences for adolescents. Loneliness can kill, they say.
DISCONNECTED REALITIES
Pointing out that we live in a world where a pizza may arrive before an ambulance does, Dr Era Dutta, consultant neuropsychiatrist, life wellness coach and founder of Mind Wellness, shares her concerns. “With the advent of smartphones, we’re faced with a dilemma of how much use is ideal? Another real question we need to look at is whether we use cell phones, or they use us,” she says.
Jean Marie Twenge, an American psychologist researching generational differences, has dubbed the generation with smartphones as iGen thanks to their increased access to smartphones and social media.
Twenge believes that though teenagers are now safer physically because they tend to stay in their rooms and avoid parties and drinking, the rates of teenage depression have increased. “It’s not an exaggeration to describe iGen as being on the brink of the worst mental-health crisis in decades. Much of this deterioration can be traced to their phones,” Twenge had written in one of her published articles.
So are we more disconnected than connected today? Dr Era thinks so. “In this century, we’re always connected and yet disconnected. With a quick tap, you can ‘connect’ with friends without even making eye contact for long enough. Even when you meet, you’d be as busy on your gadget even as your friends are on theirs,” she says.
LONELINESS & THE INSTANT-FIX INTERACTIONS
Youngsters need to spend time with their friends. It’s essential for their social development, which influences and impacts their mental health. However, as pointed out by Rebecca Gupta, a trauma recovery coach & artist, if this spending time doesn’t happen in person, it tends to happen on the phone or online.
“This is why most teenagers are glued to their devices,” elaborates Dr Rebecca. “Socialising online and texting is a temporary, instant fix sort of interaction. The social skills that young people learn with real friendships are not being practised because of the instant nature of communication online. Friendships today are based on the same sort of instant interaction instead of the meaningful real relationships that their parents grew up with. Unfortunately this is the world we live in today.”
Loneliness is a universal human emotion, both complex and unique to each individual. And as even Dr Era states, there can be no single cause of feeling lonely.
“However, with a sharp fall in the average age of youngsters getting their first cell phones, there are reports from around the world about the increased dependency on phone usage. Since cell phones can be as consuming as they are, they may sometimes even alienate you from the real world around you,” states Dr Era.
GENERATIONAL & EMOTIONAL GAPS
The new-age trends children have caught on to not only widen the generation gap, but also the emotional gap between parents and children as well as amongst siblings. Imagine a dinner time of a family of 8 where everyone is on their own smart phones on some or the other pretext. While the adults may cite “work” as an excuse, a lot of youngsters cite “homework” and “important messages from class teacher” in this world of pandemic where we are all resorting to this media.
Ravi Khandelwal, entrepreneur and father of teenagers Raag and Aanya, talks about how it’s not uncommon to see a family at a restaurant with mobile phones stacked at the centre of their table. “Such strictness shows the level of increased usage of mobile phones, the lack of self discipline and most importantly the disinterest in conversations,” states Ravi. “Loneliness is not about being physically distant from others — adolescents feel alone even in the presence of their families!”
The entrepreneur also points out how fewer conversations and fewer interactions lead to a lack of sharing. “And sharing is actually the foundation of building
relationships. Children spend their time most likely on social media, emails, academic research, googling and playing games,” adds Ravi, insisting that parents must try and improve their ‘me-time’ with kids by indulging in interesting conversations, playing board games or going on fun outings with them. “Mobile addiction not only affects the physical but also the psychological aspect, leading to anxiety, depression and sleep disorders.”
With no “real conversation” with your loved ones, youngsters end up yearning for real connections.
“Loneliness can arise from this yearning. While one can have thousands of friends and followers on social media, they’d still feel lonely and hollow from within,” remarks Dr Era, although she does emphasise that not all kinds of depression can be related to the use of cell phones.
ew Hyderabadis who boasted of their friendship with Shilpa Shetty-Raj
Kundra are now tongue-tied. They hosted the couple when they visited the city and treated them to the best of cuisines. Shilpa apparently gave them tips too on yoga and good health.
In fact, at one such earlier get-together Kundra and Shilpa were all praises for their Hyderabadi friends for being such great hosts.
But now with Kundra in jail, the same set of people has completely distanced themselves from the couple. Who wants to get associated with anyone in a porn case, they say!
PYT from the city who shuttles between Dubai, Hyderabad is said to have told everyone she’s best friends with all the top notch royalty in the Middle East. And because of this, she was getting VVIP treatment everywhere she went. Now it has emerged that she had pulled a fast one on everyone — knew nobody from the Dubai royalty. And those who showered her with expensive gifts are hopping mad!
ews is the is planning a holiday retreat, and this time it’s to Moscow. This group boasts of the city’s richie rich, so any exotic place is easily affordable for them. Though they hate being talked about, like to remain below the radar, a few wannabies among them, keep talking about all their fabulous endeavours for others in the society to hear about.
esigner Anushree Reddy, who completes 10 years of her successful journey, is now coming up with a brand new, swanky, standalone store. The
has built a new house that’s a mini version on Ambani’s Antila? Ms D
Reddy.
is every local infrastructure company boss’
dream ambition? To make it as big as
What
did Kurshid Nawab and wife Durdana celebrate their granddaughter’s wedding — daughter of Nawab and Begum Aziz Ahemed Khan? On July 28. It was a very intimate affair, keeping in mind covid protocols.
When
Where did filmmaker Puri Jagannadh’s cast (Vijay Deverakonda and Ananya Pandey) of his next film Liger want him to resume shooting of the film? In picturesque locations of Europe! A costly suggestion.
does everyone say “be wary of Because she’s the biggest gossip in town. Talks very sweetly to everyone on their face, but sniggers about them behind their back. And she’s very popular socially.
Why
launch is on August 14, and the invites sent out were fabulous too — a lovely hamper with lip smacking snacks designed so well. More success to her.
h a i t a n y a Akkineni and Samantha have bought plot of land in Jubliee Hills and are said to be making a beautiful house for themselves.