Deccan Chronicle



Accept imperfecti­ons, perfectly


clinical psychologi­st and psychother­apist Gurugram, says the cluttering of the mind happens when there is a multitude of thoughts and feelings present, resulting in a restless mind. The primary reasons for it are as follows:

Emotional overwhelm Restlessne­ss due to multiple goals and thoughts

Inability to process and close past events and preoccupat­ion with recent and far future


Living in our own mind rather than others’

Often due to our early childhood experience­s, we tend to think about how other people perceive situations, especially our life situations; holding multiple opinions results in indecision. Before making decisions, use time and physical distance away from others to be able to hear your own thoughts, values and emotions about life situations. Of course, decisions can’t be made in isolation, but before making a decision, let yours be the last voice you hear.

Perfection is an over-valued idea, enforced by dominant narratives in our culture. Over-achieving in various goals in our familial roles, e.g., as spouses, as parents or in profession­al roles, make us undertake too many goals that we may not be able to fulfil. Hence, our minds are preoccupie­d with excessive tasks, plans for tasks and thoughts about possible failures on those tasks. Accepting imperfecti­ons would result in making fewer, smaller and achievable goals. We must make manageable daily and long-term goals.

Just like we hoard things, we hoard people and relationsh­ips. As our inner circle grows, so does the clutter in our brain, what with each of their opinions, feelings, values and duties. We must maintain good personal boundaries with others. Over sharing or over-receiving our thoughts, feelings and general lives with and from others can burden our mental resources. This happens especially with the increasing trends of sharing minor and major life events on social media. Share your inner thoughts and feelings with those who you select based on their ability to be non-judgmental listeners and their ability to hold their horses in terms of advice and criticism for you. This keeps your inner circle tight and small and your mind free from a myriad of subjective perspectiv­es.

Before making

decisions, use time and physical

distance away from others to be able to hear your own thoughts,

values and emotions about

life situations.


This can’t be overemphas­ised. Tuning out thoughts about our past and future can help us get rid of mental restlessne­ss and emotional overwhelm. Towards achieving this, try the ‘break the task’ technique. ‘Break down’ your current task into the minutest of steps and mindfully describe each to yourself. For example, while cooking, one of the steps that could be observed mindfully could be mixing gravy: note the texture, aroma and the colour of the gravy. Carry out this technique, cross multiple tasks in a day to help distance your mind from distractin­g thoughts.

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