RICHARD MEADEN
What would your perfect car be like? Meaden’s got his sussed
IT WON’T HAVE ESCAPED YOUR NOTICE that this is the eCoty issue. Rarely do we have a runaway winner. Instead, what tends to happen is that the judges’ scores identify the car that ticks most boxes. It’s usually tight and there are always occasions where you think, if only one car had the steering of another or the best handling car had the most exciting engine, you would have exactly the car you want.
I suppose all we prove during our week of overthinking, over-eating and oversteering is that there’s no such thing as the perfect car. But what if there could be? What if you could go on the ultimate supermarket sweep of chassis layout, styling, image, powertrain, brakes, handling traits and exhaust note. What a machine you could create! It’s a tantalising fantasy. One that you think should be pretty easy to crystallise in your mind, but actually gets harder the more consideration you give it. If you think the Three Car Garage game is tricky, this one will tie you in knots.
First the basics. There are too many midengined cars in the world, so I’m starting with a classic front-engined rear-drive layout, because they tend to be the most fun to drive on the road, and there are few cars more handsome than a powerful front-engined GT.
Styling is utterly subjective, and therefore divisive, but I’m writing the cheques on this one, so I’ll be paying for a style-off between Aston Martin and Polestar. When they’ve got their eye in, Aston’s designers are masters of form, proportion and surfacing. Plus, they know front-engined GTs inside-out. As for Polestar? Look at a Polestar 1 and tell me I’m wrong to think they’d also do a sensational job. I’d also have to enlist Singer’s Rob Dickinson to oversee the stance, as nobody obsesses over the relationship between wheel and wheelarch, nor treads a finer line between poke and flush, quite like him.
As for the interior, I consistently love McLaren’s work. The pure and simple architecture is impactful yet understated, while the perfect driving position and intuitive switchgear ensure McLarens are comfortable and straightforward cars to get in and drive. I’d love to see them translate this approach to a front-engined 2+2.
The engine has to be naturally aspirated. I don’t want hybrid and it needs a dozen cylinders. I could follow Gordon Murray and go to Cosworth, but hand on heart who wouldn’t want Ferrari’s wild 6.5-litre 800bhp motor from the 812 Superfast? And if we’re talking engines, then we need to nail the exhaust note. Ferraris sound good, but there’s something contrived about the noise they make when the exhaust flaps are fully open. It’s a bit too loud and not quite as musical as an Italian V12 should be. I’d be curious to know what the team who tuned the Lexus LFA exhaust note would make of it. While they’re at it they can sprinkle the whole car with the fairydust that has kept the LFA sub-zero cool. Oh, and I’ll have the LFA’s gorgeous ‘chopstick’ stalks, too.
Gearbox? Six-speed manual with conventional H-pattern, please. If it’s a stickshift then nobody does it better than Honda. The S2000 gearbox remains one of the best gearshifts of all time, and the fact the new Civic Type R is available only with a manual gearbox (and an excellent one at that) shows how much emphasis Honda places on driver engagement and the sheer joy to be had from operating a machine. Imagine the perfect blend of delicacy, precision and engineered weight they could bring to a transaxle ’box? And it would mean my car can have a gorgeous titanium gearknob like the NSX-R.
Brakes would be developed by Porsche. In my experience it has consistently built cars with monumental stopping power and perfectly judged feel, progression, pedal weight and resistance to fade. While I’m rummaging in the parts bins at WeissachFlacht, I’d also take the suspension, stability control and limited-slip diff adjustability from the new GT3 RS (complete with steering wheel switches and MMI). My only caveat would be that Matt Becker does the suspension tune, to guarantee the car works brilliantly on UK roads.
As for the ride and handling characteristics, I’d want something with the remarkable pliancy, control and exploitability of a McLaren 765LT. Specifically when driven with its stability control in a relaxed but still active setting. I’d also want to mimic its steering weight, feel and response. With systems off I’d like the car to have the progression, precision and placeability of a 992 GT3.
It’s an impossible dream, of course. But one I rather like staring out of the window and imagining. The thought of braking deep into a corner while perfectly blip-shifting down a Honda-honed gearbox, hearing a Ferrari V12 whoop-whoop through Lexustuned pipes, slice towards the apex like a 765LT and exit the corner like a fully lit GT3 is my idea of perfection. Question is, what’s yours? ⌧
The engine has to be naturally aspirated. I don’t want hybrid and it needs a dozen cylinders