The Crack- Up
My relationship with Parveen began around 1977. She had returned to India from Italy ( after she broke up with Kabir Bedi subsequent to his becoming a sensation in Italy with the TV show Sandokan). She was a top star and was filming for Amar Akbar Anthony ( 1977) and Kala Pathar ( 1979) those days, while I was a flop filmmaker. I left my wife Lorraine Bright and my daughter Pooja, who was a kid then, to live in with Parveen. At home she was a traditional girl, who loved to oil her hair and cook - a Gujaratan from Junagadh, albeit with Western influences in her formative years. She was generous and unassuming unlike her diva persona. But she found it stressful to allow the world into her home. She put up a performance when she spoke to producers even on the phone.
Then one day as all bad stories begin… she had a crack- up. It was an evening in 1979. I walked into her Juhu apartment to find her aging mother ( Jamal Babi) in the corridor. She said in a whisper, “Look, what’s happened to Parveen!” I walked into that bedroom lined up with innumerable perfumes ( the fragrance still lingers in my mind) on the dressing table, to see a sight that sent a chill down my spine. Parveen was dressed in film costume and sat curled up in the corner between the wall and the bed. Her gait was beast like. She had a kitchen knife in her hand. “What are you doing?” I asked. She said, “Shhsssh….! Don’t talk! This room is bugged ( installed with a spying device). They’re trying to kill me; they’re going to drop a chandelier on me.” She held my hand and led me outside. I saw her mother look helplessly at me. Her gaze revealed that this episode had happened before; it was not the first time.
From then on began a long night... of fear and trauma. I had to first come to terms with what was happening to her. Several theories floated. One being the ill- informed one that being so successful, she had become a victim of black magic and that an evil spirit had invaded her! I got in touch with well- known psychiatrists, who diagnosed her condition as paranoid schizophrenia ( where a person suffers from delusions of fear and persecution), a genetic biochemical disorder. Drug therapy was suggested to keep it on leash. But they warned that if drug therapy didn’t work she’d have to be given electroconvulsive treatment ( ECT) ( shock therapy in common parlance).
Now began the dance to hide the fact that the diva was down with a mental ailment. At first ‘ jaundice’ was used to barricade her from people. I called up Kabir Bedi informing him of her condition. His voice indicated that it was something he was familiar with. He suggested a few hospitals in the UK, which could help her. Danny ( Dengzongpa, Parveen’s ex- boyfriend and neighbour) was also helpful. I’d take her to his house to calm her during her panic attacks.