Let ’ s taLk
It all boils down to stress, he feels. Whether a person is a victim of child sexual abuse, the memory of which resurfaces later in life, or a woman, whose children have grown up, feeling a sense of purposelessness, anything may cause it. The tricky part is when it runs in the family. Author Gayathri Ramprasad, who struggled with it for 30 years, found that her father and siblings all had it. The difference was that she got help, when her husband found her digging her own grave in their backyard. Her book, Shadows in the Sun, talks of her journey.
Not many want to come out and talk about it. “People see it as weakness, as if you’re not strong enough to handle life,” says Nair. At its worst it’s seen as madness; a psychiatrist, the doctor whom mad people visit.
Anamika Singh*, now a holistic healer, lived with a depressed spouse for years and found herself depressed too. “When you’re in depression, you begin to believe that you’re not good enough. You don’t trust yourself; how will you trust anyone else? Your body starts mimicking your mind’s beliefs. So if you feel ‘I am a bad person,’ your body too starts acting up…” It’s the reason psychologist Seema Hingorrany, author of Beating the Blues, says that many patients come with migraines and once they begin therapy, see an improvement.
The three words that most people who have seen depression use: Heaviness, darkness, exhaustion. Most of us understand physical symptoms—there’s seemingly some way of helping. “Physical touch is often underestimated—just hold someone’s hand—it can make her feel she’s not completely alone,” says Nair. All you can do is listen. “Don’t ask what the big deal is, because the quality of depression is an out-of-proportion reaction to a situation.” In her blog, Mahim Maher, a Pakistani journalist speaks about depression, “People would tell me that I wasn’t grateful enough for what I had in life. Depression doesn’t go away by saying ‘thank you’. I can be grateful and depressed.”
People often smoke to feel light and drink to forget. However, depression meds don’t work as well with alcohol and other substances, says Reddi. Medication also comes with mind blocks, what with movies showing ‘shock treatment’ in the most negative light. Doctors reinforce that medication today is safe and that in the most severe cases, when electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is used, it is under anaesthesia. “Depression can be cured, and that needs to be known,” says Reddi. It’s just a matter of reaching out for help. Perhaps then, Sanchita Nair and Anamika Singh can come out and reveal their true names.
*Names changed