To lend or not to lend is the real question

They say if you want to lose a friend, lend him money and see the friendship go kaput. In my case, I have battled with a more serious affliction. Right in front of my eyes and much as I wished it weren’t so, I have seen carefully nurtured friendships develop cracks, when friends borrow books and conveniently forget returning them.

Gentle reminders rarely work and even when you put a clause while lending, that you are giving it on the condition they return, they still do not. Unlike money, returning a book is taken a lot less seriously. When people do not return money they owe you, deep down they know they are defaulting and are therefore guilty, but in case of a book, they just suffer permanent amnesia and when reminded, make you feel as if you are the meanie.

Yet, you can’t help yourself. You are only too aware of a book being a reader’s best friend, but certainly not at the cost of a living breathing pal. So every time you run into the friend, you struggle to push back thoughts which keep returning and interfering with what is otherwise a perfectly normal conversation. First, you wait for them to make a mention that they will return it and have forgotten to get it. When that does not happen, you casually try asking if they enjoyed reading it. To which they will brush it off with something like, “Oh, I did not get the time, but I hope to finish it during my next out-of-town trip” and promptly go back to what they were talking about. Somewhere, you get the feeling they would be doing you a favour by reading the book, and returning, if at all, will come later

Next, you plot how to get your prized book back. Sometimes, you visit their homes on the pretext of meeting them, run through their book shelves, spot the book and tell them you are taking it back. While you may get the book alright, chances are you’ve lost your friend.

Any book lover will tell you the one thing they love most – talking about books they have read. When the interest of the other person is aroused and he expresses interest in reading it, most of you will immediately offer to lend it. This act of generosity is akin to a sacred offering. When that offering is treated shoddily, it is not easy to forget and forgive. Often, the book is returned after reminders.

There are times a brand new hardcover comes back dog eared, smelling of food and with coffee stains. The most offensive thing is when the person plain denies having it at all. They vehemently stand their ground saying, “Are you sure it is with me? Did I not give it back to you? Ok, let me check and revert.” The sad thing is they don’t. Revert that is. Till you find a reason to meet them again and remind them. They again deny, this time a bit weakly. And you guessed it, next time round, they just plain and simple avoid you.

Solutions? Yes. Lend books you will not miss if they do’t wind their way back. Put your name on the cover, so even if the person forgets, he or she will return it eventually. Thanks to technology, there is now one more option. Download the book and lend the e-version without a worry in the world, keeping the hard copy safe, in your own custody.

No, you’re not one bit guilty about donning this sinister avatar of being an alligator armed book miser rather than a benevolent soul who runs a free book lending library that has no penalty on defaulters.

DOWNLOAD THE BOOK AND LEND THE EVERSION WITHOUT A WORRY IN THE WORLD, KEEPING THE HARD COPY SAFE IN YOUR OWN CUSTODY