Handle your relationships with care
Relationships take a beating when you’re locked in together, or apart. And you might be watching your romantic relationships carefully, but others need nurturing too — like those with flatmates, siblings, parents, friends.
“It’s very challenging for flatmates, because all chores must now be managed, in a relationship that might can be one of friendship, or polite strangers, or can be strained too,” says clinical psychologist Dr Seema Hingorrany. “And there isn’t the closeness required to make amends and defuse a situation.”
An important mitigating factor is me-time, coupled with conversation, Dr Hingorrany says. Make sure you set aside time away from each other; and time to talk about things other than chores and the coronavirus.
Waled Aadnan, 28, a project manager in New Delhi, says the first thing he and his flatmate did when they became housebound was clearly divide all chores. He and Sayan Kundu, 30, a consultant economist, are so far cohabiting in relative comfort.
“I keep the kitchen clean, utensils included, while he is in charge of cleanliness in the rest of the house,” Aadnan says. “We do mood checks every day to see how we’re each feeling. It’s even more important than before to be empathetic. You are in this together quite literally.”
Set reasonable expectations, says Dr Hingorrany. “Just because you’re flatmates, stuck together, doesn’t mean you suddenly have to be best friends.”
Talk about other things: Sayoni Chakraborty, 35, a banking executive, says her relationship with her elder sister in London has become stronger during the crisis. “We’re very close. But before we went into lockdown, we were so busy, we used to do one video call a week. Now, we’re talking every day.”
One offshoot of this is the anxiety each feels for the other. “I feel the UK’S situation is so fragile. Both countries are handling this differently.