Key to happiness: Expect less and hope for more

According to Sylvia Plath, “If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed”. But we have unrealistically high expectations of others and that leads us to frustration and disappointment.

For example, a student appearing for exams is burdened by his parents’ and teachers’ expectations — even his own. This burden results in stress, decreased efficiency and discontent. Expectation is the mother of frustration. Setting unrealistically high standards or expecting something beyond the mental and physical capabilities of someone ultimately leads to unhappiness.

The best things in our life are unexpected. One doesn’t always get what he or she wants. In the words of legendary fiction writer Brandon Sanderson, “Expectations are like fine pottery, the harder you held them, more likely they were to crack.

Peace begins when expectations end. In a number of situations we keep high expectations only to boost our self esteem, but when we fail to achieve them the vicious cycle of frustration leading to aggression, aggression leads to stress and that in turn, to psychological issues. So should one stop having expectations? No. We need is to understand the difference between hope and expectations. Expectations are backed by strong desires whereas hopes are not. In hope, there is a degree of uncertainty. As Confucius said: “Expect much from yourself and little from others and you will avoid incurring resentments.”