‘Wrote sui­cide notes in my head’

Hindustan Times (Gurugram) - City - - ENTERTAINMENT -

Ac­tor Sarah Hy­land got can­did about how close she was to com­mit­ting sui­cide, and said she wrote notes in her head.

The Mod­ern Fam­ily ac­tor spoke to TV per­son­al­ity Ellen De­Generes and re­vealed that af­ter more than 25 years of bat­tling chronic health is­sues, she got to a point where she wrote sui­cide notes to her loved ones in her head, re­ports aceshow­biz.com.

She came “very, very, very, very close” to end­ing her life, the 28year-old ac­tress said.

She added, “I would write let­ters in my head to loved ones about why I did it and my rea­son­ing be­hind it and how it was no­body’s fault.” She shared, “I didn’t want to write it down on paper be­cause I didn’t want any­one to find it. That’s how se­ri­ous I was.”

On what pushed her to the near break­ing point, Hy­land blamed her health con­di­tion that re­quired her to un­dergo kid­ney trans­plant twice.

“Af­ter 26, 27 years of just al­ways be­ing sick and be­ing in chronic pain ev­ery sin­gle day, you don’t know when you’re go­ing to have the next good day... It’s re­ally, re­ally hard,” she said.

Dur­ing her ap­pear­ance on The Ellen De­Generes Show, the See You in Val­halla (2015) ac­tor also cred­ited talk­ing out loud about her thoughts for get­ting her out of her dark place.

“I fi­nally said it out loud to some­one .... When I said it out loud, they were like, ‘Oh, you need to see a ther­a­pist’.”

“And that’s when I was like, ‘OK, I don’t think you’re go­ing to help me. I think I need to re­ally do this on my own and re­ally do even more dig­ging and soul-search­ing,’ and just say­ing it out loud helped im­mensely be­cause I kept it to my­self for months and months at a time and say­ing it out loud re­ally helped.”

Hav­ing gone through what she went through, Hy­land urged oth­ers fac­ing sim­i­lar strug­gles to seek help.

Ac­tor Sarah Hy­land suf­fered from chronic ill­ness, re­quir­ing her to un­dergo kid­ney trans­plant twice PHOTO: RACHEL MUR­RAY/GETTY IM­AGES/AFP

Ac­tor Kate Hud­son has two sons, Ry­der and Bing­ham, and a daugh­ter, RaniPHOTO: MARK BLINCH/REUTERS

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