‘Wrote suicide notes in my head’
Actor Sarah Hyland got candid about how close she was to committing suicide, and said she wrote notes in her head.
The Modern Family actor spoke to TV personality Ellen DeGeneres and revealed that after more than 25 years of battling chronic health issues, she got to a point where she wrote suicide notes to her loved ones in her head, reports aceshowbiz.com.
She came “very, very, very, very close” to ending her life, the 28year-old actress said.
She added, “I would write letters in my head to loved ones about why I did it and my reasoning behind it and how it was nobody’s fault.” She shared, “I didn’t want to write it down on paper because I didn’t want anyone to find it. That’s how serious I was.”
On what pushed her to the near breaking point, Hyland blamed her health condition that required her to undergo kidney transplant twice.
“After 26, 27 years of just always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day, you don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day... It’s really, really hard,” she said.
During her appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the See You in Valhalla (2015) actor also credited talking out loud about her thoughts for getting her out of her dark place.
“I finally said it out loud to someone .... When I said it out loud, they were like, ‘Oh, you need to see a therapist’.”
“And that’s when I was like, ‘OK, I don’t think you’re going to help me. I think I need to really do this on my own and really do even more digging and soul-searching,’ and just saying it out loud helped immensely because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time and saying it out loud really helped.”
Having gone through what she went through, Hyland urged others facing similar struggles to seek help.
Actor Sarah Hyland suffered from chronic illness, requiring her to undergo kidney transplant twice PHOTO: RACHEL MURRAY/GETTY IMAGES/AFP
Actor Kate Hudson has two sons, Ryder and Bingham, and a daughter, RaniPHOTO: MARK BLINCH/REUTERS