GIRL, INTERRUPTED
Will the wildly popular Netflix show 13 Reasons Why get teens talking about suicide, or give them ideas? Schools and parents are worried that the answer could be, both
n
Ihope you’re ready, because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you’re listening to these tapes, you’re one of the reasons why.’
Netflix’s dark adaptation of Jay Asher’s cult young-adult novel, 13 Reasons Why, begins with Clay Jensen getting a box of 13 audiotapes from his classmate Hannah Baker, two weeks after she killed herself.
There’s one tape for each person that she believes contributed to her decision to slit her wrists in a bathtub.
“I hated the Netflix series. I thought it glamourised suicide,” says Sadhika Menon, 16. “I was bullied at 12 and having been there, I feel the show makes something that is not an option an option for people going through a rough patch.”
Sadhika got through her “rough patch” with her mother’s support. “I just burst into tears one day and said I didn’t want to go to school,” she recalls. But some anguished adolescents don’t know whom to turn to.
Distress calls on school helplines in which teens refer to the hit series have gone up. But parents, schools and psychiatrists struggle to accept how bullying, relationships, social acceptability and sexual violence eat away at the self-confidence of adolescents and teenagers. “If you take out a couple of instances of bullying and violence, all the episodes are from an average teenager’s everyday life,” said Dr Samir Parikh, director of mental health and behavioural sciences at Fortis Healthcare. He watched the show after the Fortis school helpline started getting calls from students identifying with Hannah’s unmanageable melancholia.
“It’s very close to life. There are few villains; very often, she gets hurt by people crossing the line in what they think is a prank,” says Dr Parikh.
The fear that this identification may fuel mood disorders and behavioural problems has led some schools such as The Shri Ram School (TSRS) in Gurugram to send out notes to parents warning them about “inappropriate sites and shows on television channels, such as 13 Reasons Why”.
Deepali Jaggi binge-watched the show with her 16-year-old daughter, Saisha. “I felt a surge of discomfort watching the suicide scene. I instinctively reached out and covered Saisha’s eyes,” she says.
Suicide is the biggest cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds in India, followed by road accidents, show data from the Global Burden of Disease Study, 2013 which tracked deaths from 306 diseases, injuries and risk factors across 188 countries. Globally, road injury is the biggest killer in this age group. The show worked for Raghav Gopaldas, 16, because it got him and his friends talking about how things they do or don’t do may affect another person’s life.
“It makes you wonder... when you crack a joke, is the other person taking it as just a joke? It also makes you more sensitive to another person’s emotional needs,” he says. “Hannah approached people but they did not get it.”
He’s critical about how the show romanticises suicide. “Hannah’s suicide is about revenge, she wanted to get back at people who she thinks let her down. Her behaviour is no different from those she’s accusing. It’s ridiculous to justify it,” he says.
Even parents of many adolescents have done a fair amount of introspection after watching some of the show. “I was struck by Hannah’s inability to express herself,” says Deepali Jaggi. “I was also surprised how her parents didn’t pick up signs like Clay’s parents, who are on high alert about his behaviour patterns.”
Parents, like school counsellors, are also concerned that children with emotional issues may be affected without realising it.
“Both my girls are strong and vocal against the show, but you can’t know how a child in a bad place will respond,” says Sadhika’s mum Punita, a dentist. “Every child is different. Once these discussions of sadism, rape and suicide are out there, you can’t say how they will be interpreted.”
Menon is spot on. The series is about unexpected consequences of action.
For Ketaki Kannan, 18, the show was a lesson. “I love the lines, ‘No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. Yet we push it just the same.’ Most people hurt Hannah unintentionally, adding another brick in the wall,” she says. YOU CAN’T STOP THEM Warning emails from schools nudge oblivious parents to pay a little more attention to their children’s lives.
“Some parents are not very informed and don’t realise how deeply popular culture can influence. Instead of calling it a bad show, parents and schools should help students make sense of it,” says Dr Chibber, who coordinates with counsellors across 300 schools in Delhi-NCR.
Banning children from watching is a bad idea. “Telling adolescents and teens to not do something guarantees they will. Parents and schools should instead use the series as a tool to address misplaced sentiments and discuss what teens are going through and how they would have handled the situation differently,” says Dr Parikh.
Some adolescents and teenagers are mimicking behaviour from the show and internalising adverse social situations, say concerned counsellors, but it’s partly because the show has put the spotlight on teen concerns. “It’s also forced adults to acknowledge that they cannot dismiss teenage trauma,” says Dr Chibber.
Saisha initially resisted watching the series with her mum, but is now glad she did. “I wish other parents would watch it too because it would help them know when their kids are not all right,” she says. “I talk to mum all the time but when she saw the show, even she asked, ‘Do these things happen?’” Teenagers and counsellors are unanimous in saying, they do.