What housewives do with their stash of cash
WHY DO WOMEN HIDE MONEY FROM THE MEN IN THE FAMILY? THERE ARE VARIOUS MYTHS THAT NEED TO BE BUSTED. MOST WOMEN HAVE THEIR LITTLE BANKS AT HOME BUT WHAT DO THEY DO WITH THE MONEY?
More than a month after it was implemented, demonetisation is a hotly discussed topic in our drawing rooms and across news channels. Social media is flooded with jokes, videos and witty one-liners on demonetisation and its impact on our lives. Demonetisation may have caused temporary inconvenience but it’s certainly added spice to our lives.
Jokes on Indian women hoarding cash and it surfacing like skeletons in the closet are a recurrent theme in most homes. Husbands can’t stop smiling while asking their wives how much more they have stashed in the nook and crannies of their homes. Women have, as usual, taken it all with grace, dignity and a certain elan.
Why do women hide money from the men in the family? There are various myths that need to be broken. Yes, a majority of women have their little banks at home. They keep undisclosed amounts to help tide over household crises. For instance, what does a lady do when the house help wants an advance? She quietly dips into her savings and pacifies the help when she threatens to walk out.
It is the woman who adds a little more to the pocket money of her teenager, maintaining a balance between the father, who plays the role of a disciplinarian, and the errant teenager. Her little addition in the shopping sprees is a pleasant memory for her children. When the man sees the ‘loot’, he asks with a puzzled look, “How is all this shopping possible with that amount?” The lady answers, “I used my savings.”
A homemaker scrimps and scrapes, saving the money she gets during festivals for a rainy day. My maternal grandmother had a little secret that my cousin shared after her death. My maternal grandfather belonged to the old school that believed in being strict with the boys of the family. He would give a modest amount as pocket money to his grandson and expect him to survive on it for the whole month. The pocket money would be exhausted in the first week. Our grandmother would slip some cash into his hands, away from the eyes of the strict patriarch of the house. It remains his fondest memory of her.
When some ‘shagun (auspicious token gift)’ is to be given, the woman quietly adds a little more to it. She helps maintain relationships with such small gestures. At the time of my wedding, when my mother took out the small reserve of gold she had quietly built over the years, I could just see the look of gratitude and respect in my father’s eyes.
A woman does not squander money. We forget to mention how she stretches the amount given to her by haggling and bargaining with the vendors. She does away with one maid, pitching in to do the chore herself to save that Rs 1,000 per month. She reasons that work is good for her health and will give her much-needed exercise.
Krishna Tirath, a former minister for women and child development, rightly floated the idea that a woman should be paid by her husband by calculating the hours of work she puts in the house. If this is done, then a woman will not feel the need to hide money from her husband. But is the Indian man, who makes all investments in his name, ready to do so? As women, we are ready to take jokes. We can afford a good laugh even if it is at our own expense.