Flirting is fun, here are tried and tested tips

Ioften see women and men who have forgotten the art of flirting. What a pity! Flirting adds spicy intrigue to the mundane. If you’re single, it’s a wonderful way to signal availability and interest. If you’re in a relationship, it helps to maintain that spark. Simple, harmless flirting is a way to tell the world, “I’m alive!”

Flirtation is simply the art of conversation amped up a notch. I’ve always been a good flirt, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become better, mostly because I’ve grown in confidence and self-esteem. Here is the wisdom I’ve gleaned over the years.

Selfies aren’t sexy. Neither is telling your life story on a first date. Real sexiness stems from the ability to tickle the imagination. Less exhibitionism, fewer words, and more confidence fuel desire. Smile big and often — it lights up your face and says that you’re approachable and warm. It is the green light that gives others the confidence to approach you and start a conversation.

When we’re attracted to someone, we often veer toward being overly agreeable. Talk about throwing cold water on a spark! Being challenging, feisty, and a bit unpredictable (while still being nice) is very sexy. I often playfully spar with words. Intelligent banter makes for a very flirtatious (and fun) relationship. We’re all a little too serious. Take a ribbing. Give a ribbing. Laugh until your sides ache. Dating and romance are supposed to be fun, after all.

Conversation with a stranger can be daunting. My advice? Show interest in his/ her work, hobbies, family, and interests. Sit back and relax while they open up. You will glean key insights. And I guarantee they will remember you as an amazing conversationalist while they have performed the bulk of the work.

My game changed for the better after reading Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. While technically not a dating book, it’s a wonderful guide on how to be a more engaging person. Carnegie says that someone’s name is “to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”. Pay attention when people introduce themselves. Repeat their name back immediately. Sprinkle it throughout the conversation. Be amazed at the result.

Gently touching someone’s hand or back is a wonderful way to show interest. Be respectful of another person’s space. It’s not about draping yourself all over them (or being clingy), which is a big turn-off. It’s about small signals of interest, respectfully scattered here and there.

Successful flirting is about being 100% you. Personally, I’m an extrovert nerd who loves the public library, backpacking through Europe, Charles Bronson films, and 1970s music. Don’t be afraid to stand out in a crowd. Accept that what makes you unique also makes you memorable. That is the most powerful frequency you can live in — and one that will surely attract an ideal partner.

Happy flirting and ‘hunt where the ducks are’.

SUCCESSFUL FLIRTING IS ABOUT BEING 100% YOU. ACCEPT THAT WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE ALSO MAKES YOU MEMORABLE. THAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL FREQUENCY YOU CAN LIVE IN