Respect, the measure of a life well spent
One of my colleagues who retired recently is missed by everyone in the staff room. Soft-spoken and unassuming, caring and compassionate, he is remembered with respect for his genial temperament.
As author Jane Austen rightly observed in Emma, “Respect for right conduct is felt by everybody.” All of us are born with unique talent and immense capability and we aspire to live with respect and dignity. But the most admired are those who have a self-assured mien and presence.
Respect of others is a critical measure of the significance of our life. Have you ever noticed as people grow older, how important being respected becomes to them? The only thing that matters is their health and the regard of others. Respect is a measure of a life well spent, a feeling of contentment that they have been judicious in all spheres, including professional and personal.
They ask themselves: Did I lead a life of self-respect? Corollary questions include: Am I respected and valued by others? Have I been a good human being? Was I loved? Did I love? Do I deserve to be respected? This is because respect is something that cannot be bestowed without genuine reverence for the person.
The Latin for respect is respectus that simply means looking at. Derived from the word respecio where re means back and specio means to see, respect is non- judgemental and signifies plain observation.
The simplest definition of dignity in dictionaries is, “The state or quality of being worthy of honour or respect.” To be dignified carries with it the responsibility of being an icon, to be aspirational and to be emulated in thoughts and deeds.
Respect has a ripple effect. Surely, there is a regard you gain by virtue of your authority or position, but it is an attribute that we as children were taught, to value everyone’s contribution and treat with respect our teachers as well as our domestic help. So, far more precious is the regard that you earn not by virtue of your position but by your conduct. My father often says, “A job is about a lot more than a pay cheque. It’s about your dignity. It’s about your respect, about your place in the hearts of people at the workplace.”
You can be in tatters yet be held in high esteem because dignity resides in the angle at which you hold your head and shoulders, the honesty you exhibit in your eyes, humility in gesture, the assured measured step you walk, and self-respect becomes natural attire.
Last year, I lost my long-time chauffeur. An ex-army personnel, he was a dedicated and disciplined employee. Till date, I’m filled with a deep sense of regard for him. Position, riches, age, nothing matters more than the attribute of goodness in a person. If you are a good human being, you are always held in high esteem.
Self-respect increases manifold when you see others respecting you for your qualities or contributions and it becomes a golden circle. Self-respect arouses respect in others that enhances self-respect, poised pride and pure peace.
Respect is the outcome of integrity and generosity of spirit in private and public life. True are the words of novelist Laurence Sterne, “Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.”
THERE IS A REGARD YOU GAIN BY VIRTUE OF YOUR AUTHORITY, BUT WE WERE TAUGHT TO TREAT WITH RESPECT OUR TEACHERS AS WELL AS OUR DOMESTIC HELP