‘You find people irritating? You’re fine’

I’m in love with a friend who knows that I have a crush on her. But, she said a common friend that she doesn’t feel the same. What do I do? 596

I’m sorry 596, but I’m having trouble hearing your questions because of the loud crackers outside. Sadly I don’t have a home in Delhi -NCR. My first question to you is how does she know that you have a crush on her? Have you made it too obvious? Like an ad in the papers? Her name on your building wall? A letter to our editor? Having said that, stop going through friends. A lot gets lost in the translation. Love and body parts inspections are best done by oneself. Try talking to her casually. Gauge her response. If she’s guarded and unfriendly, back off. If she talks in a decent manner, plod along slowly. Now, do you know about any place on rent in Delhi NCR, around next Diwali? I like a guy and he knows it. But, he loves someone else. Now, my friend likes him and he also likes her. She often talks to me about their chats. I feel uncomfortable. I still like him, but I want my friend to be happy. Please help.PS

Oops; it’s a typical Mumbai problem. Too many cars and one parking spot. PS, if you really wanted your friend to be happy, you wouldn’t have written.

Remember what Gary Kasparov, chess champion, once told a hot dog order, after he received a small sausage to break?

“When making a hot dog, weigh the percentage of sausage to bread.” Garry never paid for that hot dog. I Think you need to weigh the percentage — they like each other and you’d rather not hear about their ‘love’.

So for a little while try to spend a little less time with your friend. You’ll realise time is the only solution. And please don’t dive into this one, go to another hot dog vendor.

I was attracted to a girl that I met recently. We both liked each other. After a month, I started to find her irritating. And it was all over after that. I’ve not been in a relationship since then. What should I do now? Concentrate on smaller things in life, like birds? JA JA, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Birds, sky, roads, Ted Talks, films by Satyajit Ray are things to be with. Finding someone irritating, after a while, is a normal human reaction. If you don’t find people irritating that’s when you need aid of a doctor. I find everyone irritating. I find these letters irritating. This one especially. But that’s how I know that I don’t need any medication. So, don’t be cynical.

Think of irritation as a pot of gold after the end of a rainbow, love. Check with your relatives; the longer the relationship, the more the irritation. It comes with the territory.