Control your desires with intellect
There is only one way to control greed and desires, and that is developing and honing detachedness. Desires originate in the mind, and unless leashed by the intellect, may run haywire. You need to control these desires by practising behaviours which sharpens the following abilities: rational thinking, dissociating judgement from desires, ability to distinguish between subject and object, control over anger, control on ego, ability to put things into perspective, being mindful of own competence, and acting only after due deliberation. Pick up each of these abilities individually and start improving on them. In due course of time, you will be free of greed, or at least it would come down to manageable proportions. Greed is defined as excessive or rapacious desire, especially for wealth and material possessions, and in the words of Gandhi, there is enough in this world for everyone’s need, but not enough for even one person’s greed. So I stand by my assertion that greed needs to be controlled. Anything in excess needs to be restrained for it always impairs judgment.
I have done some things in the past which I am not proud of. Due to those things, people around me have also formed a perception about me. I am a changed man now and I hate the fact that people still see me as that person which I was several years ago. Is there a way I can
change these negative perceptions of people around me, especially at work? Sujeet Perceptions, once formed, are difficult to obliterate. However, if one really wants to modify an existing perception earnestly, then the task is going to be an arduous one. You will have to use either or both of the following impression management techniques: (i) Self Enhancement techniques: These techniques focus on enhancing others impression of you, and include name dropping (mentioning association with important people, relevant to the impression you are trying to create); managing appearances including the way you dress and talk; and self-descriptions (statements/ stories about your characteristics that would enhance a particular impression).
(ii) Other-enhancing techniques: These techniques focus on the individual (target), on whom you are trying to make an impression, and include ingratiation (making the target feel good, superior or important); rational persuasion (convince using logic over a period of time and build credibility on that particular issue); target gratification (appeasing the target by asking questions, sharing personal interests, in short, satisfying the ego of the target); and instrumental dependency (informing the target of happenings in office or keeping the target in the loop). However, do bear in mind that this process is a long and tedious one and you will have to use the techniques consistently to achieve the desired impression. I am also assuming that you have changed for the better, and you will continue to seek selfimprovement. Have any questions about life, management, philosophy, education, literature, yoga, mountaineering in India, or psychological issues or all of these? Disclaimer: The responses in this column given by me are based on my learnings and experience. They should, by no means, be taken as a substitute for medical/professional help.
GET FREE OF YOUR GREED AND DESIRES