Con­trol your de­sires with in­tel­lect

Hindustan Times (Lucknow) - Live - - HTCITY MY CITY - HIMANSHU RAI In your writ­ings, you come across as an op­po­nent of greed. How do we con­trol greed? How do we con­trol de­sires? And more im­por­tantly, should we con­trol greed? Doesn’t greed fuel am­bi­tion? Sneha Himanshu Rai is a pro­fes­sor at IIM Lucknow, an a

There is only one way to con­trol greed and de­sires, and that is de­vel­op­ing and hon­ing de­tached­ness. De­sires orig­i­nate in the mind, and un­less leashed by the in­tel­lect, may run hay­wire. You need to con­trol these de­sires by prac­tis­ing be­hav­iours which sharp­ens the fol­low­ing abil­i­ties: ra­tio­nal think­ing, dis­so­ci­at­ing judge­ment from de­sires, abil­ity to dis­tin­guish be­tween sub­ject and ob­ject, con­trol over anger, con­trol on ego, abil­ity to put things into per­spec­tive, be­ing mind­ful of own com­pe­tence, and act­ing only af­ter due de­lib­er­a­tion. Pick up each of these abil­i­ties in­di­vid­u­ally and start im­prov­ing on them. In due course of time, you will be free of greed, or at least it would come down to man­age­able pro­por­tions. Greed is de­fined as excessive or ra­pa­cious de­sire, es­pe­cially for wealth and ma­te­rial pos­ses­sions, and in the words of Gandhi, there is enough in this world for ev­ery­one’s need, but not enough for even one per­son’s greed. So I stand by my as­ser­tion that greed needs to be con­trolled. Any­thing in ex­cess needs to be re­strained for it al­ways im­pairs judg­ment.

I have done some things in the past which I am not proud of. Due to those things, peo­ple around me have also formed a per­cep­tion about me. I am a changed man now and I hate the fact that peo­ple still see me as that per­son which I was sev­eral years ago. Is there a way I can

change these neg­a­tive per­cep­tions of peo­ple around me, es­pe­cially at work? Su­jeet Per­cep­tions, once formed, are dif­fi­cult to oblit­er­ate. How­ever, if one re­ally wants to mod­ify an ex­ist­ing per­cep­tion earnestly, then the task is go­ing to be an ar­du­ous one. You will have to use ei­ther or both of the fol­low­ing im­pres­sion man­age­ment tech­niques: (i) Self En­hance­ment tech­niques: These tech­niques fo­cus on en­hanc­ing oth­ers im­pres­sion of you, and in­clude name drop­ping (men­tion­ing as­so­ci­a­tion with im­por­tant peo­ple, rel­e­vant to the im­pres­sion you are try­ing to cre­ate); man­ag­ing ap­pear­ances in­clud­ing the way you dress and talk; and self-de­scrip­tions (state­ments/ sto­ries about your char­ac­ter­is­tics that would en­hance a par­tic­u­lar im­pres­sion).

(ii) Other-en­hanc­ing tech­niques: These tech­niques fo­cus on the in­di­vid­ual (tar­get), on whom you are try­ing to make an im­pres­sion, and in­clude in­gra­ti­a­tion (mak­ing the tar­get feel good, su­pe­rior or im­por­tant); ra­tio­nal per­sua­sion (con­vince us­ing logic over a pe­riod of time and build cred­i­bil­ity on that par­tic­u­lar is­sue); tar­get grat­i­fi­ca­tion (ap­peas­ing the tar­get by ask­ing ques­tions, shar­ing per­sonal in­ter­ests, in short, sat­is­fy­ing the ego of the tar­get); and in­stru­men­tal de­pen­dency (in­form­ing the tar­get of hap­pen­ings in of­fice or keep­ing the tar­get in the loop). How­ever, do bear in mind that this process is a long and te­dious one and you will have to use the tech­niques con­sis­tently to achieve the de­sired im­pres­sion. I am also as­sum­ing that you have changed for the bet­ter, and you will con­tinue to seek self­im­prove­ment. Have any ques­tions about life, man­age­ment, phi­los­o­phy, ed­u­ca­tion, lit­er­a­ture, yoga, moun­taineer­ing in In­dia, or psy­cho­log­i­cal is­sues or all of these? Dis­claimer: The re­sponses in this col­umn given by me are based on my learn­ings and ex­pe­ri­ence. They should, by no means, be taken as a sub­sti­tute for med­i­cal/pro­fes­sional help.



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