‘It’s healthy to dis­cuss about sex with fam­ily’

Ac­tor Kirti Kul­hari talks about her jour­ney to­wards a more lib­er­ated and em­pow­ered self in In­dian fam­ily setup

Hindustan Times (Lucknow) - Live - - FRONT PAGE - Juhi Chakraborty ■ [email protected]

Sex is not a draw­ing room sub­ject for dis­cus­sion while grow­ing up in In­dia. And Kirti Kul­hari’s fam­ily was no dif­fer­ent. The ac­tor, in her lat­est web series, takes on the role of a work­ing sin­gle mother, not afraid to ex­plore her sex­u­al­ity; and it wasn’t an easy char­ac­ter to say yes to, ow­ing to her men­tal con­di­tion­ing and the en­vi­ron­ment she grew up in .

“I come from a fam­ily where we never talked about sex. Re­la­tion­ships were looked down upon. While, I was given a lot of free­dom in terms of what I wanted to do. [For in­stance] When I chose sports over stud­ies, my father was okay with it. There were ob­vi­ously things he was not okay with and nei­ther was my mother. And I don’t blame them for that,” shares Kirti.

How­ever now, the ac­tor feels that sex and re­la­tion­ships should be sub­jects that par­ents and kids dis­cuss openly. “It is the sign of a healthy en­vi­ron­ment to dis­cuss what’s hap­pen­ing in your life; if you are dat­ing some­one or what’s go­ing on sex­u­ally,” she adds.

Kirti says, since all this wasn’t there (grow­ing up), it ob­vi­ously af­fected her and she “had to learn things from my own ex­pe­ri­ences,” good and bad. And hence, be­ing a part of this web series, which deals with ev­ery­day sex­ism, re­la­tion­ship tra­vails and sex­u­al­ity, was in a way lib­er­at­ing for her as a per­son as well as an ac­tor. “While I have dealt with a lot of is­sues on my own, I pushed my­self as an ac­tor dur­ing the show. As a per­son now, I feel un­stop­pable. I have ac­tu­ally be­come lib­er­ated my­self. I feel so em­pow­ered to talk about things which I wouldn’t talk about or dis­cuss ear­lier in pub­lic,” she shares. But Kirti did have her own ap­pre­hen­sions about the role as she didn’t want it to turn out to be just another show with fluff and sex, and with no sub­stance. She re­veals that it was her hus­band, ac­tor Saahil Sehgal, who brought her out of the mis­ery. “I know what it takes in a coun­try like In­dia to do it. While people are free to judge it, we should not be in a space where we get in­stant grat­i­fi­ca­tion from tit­il­la­tion.

That’s when my hus­band told me that as an ac­tor, I needed to get out of my com­fort zone,” she con­cludes.

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