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Some ways to avoid ugly surprises

- Sonal.kalra @hindustant­imes.com facebook.com/ sonalkalra­13 @sonalkalra

The wedding season has already set in. And it has brought with it a truckload of stress, as always. I toh anyway firmly come from the ‘shaadi is barbaadi public school’, but, I recently realised what a tension a wedding can be, for the bride or the groom’s single friends.

‘The moment your best friend gets engaged, the pressure on you to get married too, strikes like a monster,’ said Minakshi yesterday. ‘And, because you don’t want to give in to the pressure and agree to an arranged marriage, the stress of falling in love takes over,’ added Neha. ‘The stress of falling in love? I thought love happened to people on its own, in fact, far too soon these days,’ I said, and they both laughed, before rolling their eyes in a very ‘oh-we-are-stuck-with-animbecile-cavewoman’ kinda way.

My hesitant queries on this subject to my own younger cousins eventually told me how right Minakshi and Neha were. So one has to try really hard to make love happen these days, varna ghar waale pakad ke arranged marriage kara dete hain. I wondered if this desperatio­n to escape the possibilit­y of being tied to a virtual stranger for life, is making people get into relationsh­ips without too much thought. A mail from a 24-year-old girl from Indore, who didn’t wish to be named, confirmed the fear. “We are a group of four close friends. All three, apart from me, have either got married or engaged. Mom does nothing else these days but remind me that good rishtey won’t come if it gets too late. My parents are broad-minded enough and asked me if I like someone. Now there is a guy in office who I somewhat like. I’m not 100% sure if he’s perfect for me, but he’ll be better than someone totally unknown. Shall I quickly become friends with him?’

Well, I don’t know, the girl from Indore. Seems like we are deciding on buying a dress or something. Anyway, it’s much easier for me to give you gyaan, than for you to go through this stress daily. But, then gyaan is all I have right now and it may just make sense to you. Please remember...

1

People don’t want to be with a desperate drama case:

The more hurry you are in to get out of the ‘single’ status, the more you’ll ward off the right kind of people. Because whatever said and done, desperatio­n shows. Coming on too strongly can intimidate, scare or simply put people off. And frankly, why should someone else make such an important decision in a hurry only because there’s pressure from home to get married? It’s a question of their life too, equally. Isn’t it? Don’t put someone else’s — and your own — future happiness at stake out of sheer desperatio­n. All that a good decision ever wants in life, is time and thought. Give it both.

2

It’s too old-fashioned to think you are too old:

There used to be a time some decades back when marriage would start to get discussed at home when a girl or guy would turn 20. Elderly women, with a grim expression, would also declare from time to time that ‘the family must be complete by 30 years of age,’ whatever that meant. Now, that mindset has thankfully gone from at least the educated middle class. So should the stress. Of course, there is always an ideal age to settle down, both from a biological viewpoint and otherwise, but the notion of an ideal age to ‘settle down’ can no longer be a sword hanging on a person’s head. If the choice is between marrying the right person and marrying at the ‘right’ age, and you go for the latter only to gain short-term peace of mind, let me slap you right now. Because life will, later.

3

Single doesn’t always mean sad, just as relationsh­ip doesn’t always mean happy:

Kisi married bande se jaakar poochho, you’ll get the right gyaan about what rushing into commitment does to peoples’ sanity. But then you won’t understand it, because all you can see around you, when you are single, is happy couples. Just remember that when they are done flaunting their ‘committed’ status, all they see around them, are happy singles. That’s the

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irony of the human mind. Your happiness, whether you have a Mrs or Miss in front of your name, will only come from your own thoughts. If you’ve consciousl­y chosen to be happy, the presence or absence of a girlfriend or boyfriend can only add value to it. It can’t be the basis of it. Life just doesn’t work that way.

4

It’s your life...not theirs. One wrong choice and you’ll be stuck, not them:

When I say ‘them’, I mean everyone, right from relatives to friends to even those who have proposed to you and waiting for you to say ‘Yes’. None of them can, or

Through the activation technique, it becomes easier to diagnose the horoscope in the right earnest. Last Sunday, I narrated how this technique helps in pinpoint the specific area of a problem. Everyone experience­s at least once in their life when the real problem remains under a veil, many smaller issues deviate the mind, due to which careful redressal of the main problem is not done. Activation astrology helps in pinpointin­g and restitutin­g the issue in time. Today, I would like to emphasise upon a more serious issue — the mousetrap — which is experience­d by most of us at one point of time. Rohit was a floor manager at a garment factory in Surat. He was averagely qualified and was accordingl­y paid by his employers. He possessed a quality of being extra loyal and utterly humble. This quality did not go unnoticed, and he started benefittin­g by getting more additional incentives than others. Quick promotions followed. He also began to supersede his superiors. A time came when he was given a noncontrib­utory directorsh­ip in the company where he once should, influence your decision to get married. The voice, about the right time and the right person, has to come from within you. If you get into a hurried relationsh­ip to avoid arranged marriage, or say yes to an arranged match only because all your friends have settled down, it’s finally your life that’s going to suffer. And your partner’s too. No relative will then own up to the responsibi­lity of pushing you into an unhappy state. And even if they did, it wouldn’t change a thing. Take your time before you take the plunge. Even if it means taking forever. Staying single is not the end of life. It’s just another way of living a joined as a floor manager. His status saw a steep rise. He was now an owner of a chauffeurd­riven car, but his nature remained as humble and obedient as ever. Now, Rohit was doing excellent, but as per astrology, it was superficia­l, as he had ventured in the mouse’s trap. The company was expanding; they needed a director who could sign agreements for loans and debts, thereby, take responsibi­lity. But the new schemes which the company had made could not go long and eventually busted. The overseas business of the company virtually closed when recession hit the western world. Many court cases were slapped on the company, and Rohit was held accountabl­e for all losses. The primary stakeholde­rs of the company also suffered extraordin­ary losses. Now, for beautiful life, if you’re at peace and in love with yourself. Anyway, whether you’re married, unmarried, committed or single, there’ll always be some people who’ll envy you, and some who’ll thank God they are not in your place. That’s just how it is.

Sonal Kalra will someday open an ashram where only two kinds of people will be allowed. Happy or married!!. Mail at

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Follow on Twitter them, it was their own gamble, but Rohit, a mere employee who rose to extraordin­ary heights in no time, had to pay, as he ventured into a trap. Prison, lawyers, and unemployme­nt ate all that he had earned. He still visits the court while the original promoters remain absconding. Activation of such traps can be seen through scientific reading of horoscope, so act timely.

The author of this article, Dr Vinay Bajrangi, is a PhD scholar, Vedic Astrologer. Read his articles on www.vinaybajra­ngi.com/media-press. php. Connect with him at www.vinaybajra­ngi.com or call at 9278665588 or 9278555588.

The veracity of any claims made in the above article is the sole responsibi­lity of the concerned entity.

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PHOTO: HTCS

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