DON’T COMPARE YOUR CHILD WITH OTHERS, SAY TEACHERS
With Board results about to be announced, both students and their parents are starting to feel the pressure of expectations bogging them down.
While most parents want their child to perform better than their neighbours’ child, experts say such expectations do more harm than good. Undue pressure from family and friends to perform better than the rest is not healthy for children. What matters is the courage to continue no matter what the result, say academicians.
Says Aashrita Das, vice principal of La Martiniere Girls’ College, “Do not judge or compare your child with others. Let them know you love them no matter what marks they get. These marks are the result of a lot of hard work from the children. If they score 90%, many congratulations to them, but if they don’t, parents need to be sensitive. No exam can take away a child’s dream or talent.”
Expressing similar views, Mala Singh Mehra, principal of Hoerner College said for parents it might be a question of their standing in society, but what they fail to understand is that a 90% doesn’t decide a child’s destiny. “An ideal child is not someone who works for grades but someone who is interested in what he studies. If he fails at something, encourage him to try again because he needs to learn from his mistakes, which is way more effective than pressuring him to always perform well,” she said.
Surveys say that a mediocre child is capable of doing much better in life than a school-topper, says Manju Agrawal, director, Amity Institute of Behavioural and Allied Sciences (AIBAS). “It is just that some children are less motivated than others due to the enormous parental pressure. There are children who are very smart but get Ds and Fs in their report cards because parents focus too much on their child’s academic skills and are ignorant of behavioural aspects like how well he manages stress, deals with pressure and works in a team,” she said.
Zeba Siddiqi, a teacher at La Martiniere College, said it was important for parents to realise that every child was different and unique. “Focus on your child’s effort and keep your expectations of success in line with their abilities and interests,” she said.