The unreturnable, inseparable saree
She was very fond of shopping but my father was a reluctant companion on her shopping voyages. So, she would look for anyone who could be lured by the tempting offers of chaat and movie thrown in. Her co-shoppers would include our masis, mamis, chachis and buas; even neighborhood aunties and didis.
A great bargainer, she was almost always successful in getting the offer price down by a significant extent. She would then return home as joyous and as excited as a shikari from his hunting trip and display her merchandise to us as if they were ‘animal heads’.
The very next day, however, she would find one or the other fault in the item or an excuse, “Oh! I already have one exactly like this” and would be back at the shop to return or exchange it. This ‘gene’ of her was so well known to all of us that when she came to Lucknow to meet and approve my would-be life companion, my elder brother warned her: “Mummy, be careful – there will be no return or exchange here!”
Just a few weeks ago, she asked me to bring a cotton saree for her from Ahmedabad where I was going for a conference. I had a tight schedule but took some time out and went to the nearest mall for quick shopping.
Being well aware of her habit of returning/ exchanging even those items she had herself selected after having got scores of pieces displayed for her, I was not sure if a saree bought by me after looking at just a few pieces would be liked and accepted by her.
In fact, the Hyderabadi silk saree bought by my younger son as his first salary gift for her was also ‘rejected’ by her and my wife had to use it for herself. Technology came to my help – I WhatsApped the pictures of a few shortlisted sarees to my nephew – her youngest grandson – who then showed them to her on his smartphone like a shopkeeper. Fortunately for me, she approved the one selected by me. I returned direct to Lucknow without stopping in Delhi and let the saree remain in my travel bag, lest I forget to take it to Noida during my next visit anywhere via Delhi. But that was not to be. For her age of 82, she was fit and fine except for her thumak thumak gait because of her osteo-arthritic knee. On the occasion of the marriage of our son – her eldest grandson – last year, she even danced to the tune of her favourite yesteryear song ‘mera man dole, mera tan
NEVER EVER IGNORE OR NEGLECT ANY WISH, HOWSOEVER SMALL IT MAY BE, OF YOUR PARENTS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE OLD
dole’. So, when I received a call during working hours from my younger brother whose family lives with her, I was a bit alarmed. ‘Mummy is not well’ was all he could say before his voice choked. His daughter – a young doctor – took over and in a sad but composed tone informed me that she was unconscious because of a large pontine (very important part of the brain) bleed.
My thoughts went back to the MBBS days when we were taught about the very poor outcome of pontine bleeds. Immediately, I was on my laptop booking air tickets for me and my two brothers in Lucknow along with our spouses because I knew that anything can happen anytime.
And it did happen very soon. Just six days later, she breathed her last in deep sleep. The loss was great for all of us to bear but we took consolation in the fact she was up and about till her very last (as she had always wished).
Never ever ignore or neglect any wish, howsoever small it may be, of your parents, especially when they are old. You never know which wish of theirs will become their last wish and if you do not fulfil it you may regret it all your life.
She could not put that saree on even once. But her four daughters-in-law dressed her serene body placed on the floor in the very same saree. On the funeral pyre, the saree became inseparable from her. She would not be able to return or exchange it – it had become the unreturnable saree! The writer is professor of surgical gastroenterology at
SGPGIMS, Lucknow.