‘I wasn’t believed as I was a boy’

Sexual assault can happen to anyone, ir respective of one’s age, sexual orientation or gender identity. Many such cases go unreported, mostly because the victims or their families either don’t construe the act as an abuse or are too embarrassed to speak out. But the male victims too suffer as much as the female survivors.

Aftab Ali, a 21-year-old resident of Lucknow, said, “We had gone to a wedding when I was 16. My maternal uncle’s 24-year-old son was sleeping next to me. He tried to grope me and when I resisted, he told me that it was natural and everybody did it. I was in severe pain while he kept on doing nasty things to me”. Aftab added, “I was in fever for days together and I told no one. When I tried to discuss it with my friends in school, they told me it was all a joke and rather I became an object of mockery. To save myself from further insults, I kept mum”.

It was only after the Delhi gang rape in 2012 that the definition of rape was revamped and genderneutral law for male victims brought in. The common man still staunchly believes that a boy can’t be raped.

MYTH: BOYS CAN COME TO NO SEXUAL HARM

Rahul Singh of Gorakhpur had a similar account. Still on anti depressants, Rahul said, “I was in Class 5 when my cousin and his friend came to stay with us. I was hardly 13 and they must have been more than 18. They sodomised me and tried to enact things they saw from pornography. I kept crying but they didn’t stop. I told my younger sister about this, who took the courage to take up the matter seriously. But who pays heed to little children’s blabbering? That incident has changed me a lot. Somehow, I just don’t feel safe in my own house. I even tried to slit my wrist. I went through a phase where I kept myself shut out from others and had to take medicines for clinical depression and anger. My parents are still not aware and those whom I told didn’t believe because I am a boy”.

INSENSITIVITY

“My mother had a friend, who forcibly kissed me on my cheeks and forehead in her presence. Once mother had gone to buy groceries and left me with her. ‘Mausi’, as I called her, tried to kiss me on my lips. I was 15 then and knew it was wrong. I resisted but she didn’t stop. I tried to tell my mother but she just said aunty loved me like her own child”, said Gaurav Joshi, a 20-year-old student of Lucknow.

WHAT EXPERTS SAY

Psychologists say that in cases of child sexual abuse, a tendency for self-harm and self-loathing occurs, as victims tend to blame themselves for whatever happened. In cases where young boys are the victims and perpetrators are of same gender, a victims begin to think that probably something is wrong with them that such a thing happened.

When I tried to discuss the incident with my friends in school, they told me it was all a joke and rather I became an object of mockery AFTAB ALI, victim