‘Figure out whose problem it is’

I love my boyfriend a lot. We both want to marry each other but he says that his parents may or may not accept me. I am worried he may dump me because of his parents. Please guide me. Tormented girl

Tormented girl, how many times do I have to say this? Actually I’ve been counting. This is the time. You don’t have a problem. You shouldn’t have written in. He has the problem. Get him to write in. If his parents may not accept you it’s his problem. And guess why? It’s his parents. We are all responsible for our parents like we all are responsible for our own plants, coffee machines, mutual funds, skin rashes. Parents are no different. Don’t worry, just tell him to sort out with his parents and get back to you. If he can’t and wants to stand by them, you get to dump him, and then he may definitely want to write in.

My boyfriend, whom I have started dating recently, wants me to come home because he wants to cook for me, have dinner and watch lots of movies. We are at an initial stage of dating and he has asked me many times to come over. Will this help my relationship? Miss Q

Miss Q, when Elizabeth I asked Sir Francis Drake to come over, he did so with aplomb. Of course, she has 463 cooks, a 35-course dinner, and instead of television, two acrobats used only a leg each to build a human pyramid. Sir Francis Drake, responded to her invitation, as he wanted to take the relationship forward. If you want to take your relationship forward, yes, accept his invitation. Remember, he can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do. After all he’s not Elizabeth I. By the way, if his name is indeed Elizabeth, write in separately, as you will then have a new set of problems.

I have a friend who started dating a guy around six months back. Now the guy tells her that there was no such thing as a relationship between them. He has stopped responding to her calls and texts. While I have told her to move on and keep herself busy with other things, she’s unable to forget him. She’s been crying and not talking. Please advice. KS

KS, it was the great chess exponent Visky Anand, who in a private conversation told me, “I think half of today’s Grand Masters are wearing wigs.” Keep in mind Anand himself, has a good crop of natural hair, all over his torso, and even on his head. Anand, also taught me, in chess, as in love, when to accept a check Mate. The guy is avoiding your friend clearly, you are doing the right thing by telling her it’s over. Sometimes, it takes a while to accept a checkmate position. But, he’s gone, the match is over. Time will make her see sense. Oh and one more thing, Anand and I done play chess. For us it’s only, hand cricket, and he still wins!

I was in an on and off relationship with a boy for the last three and a half years. He was always afraid of marrying me and hurt me a lot. So, I broke up with him. But, since we couldn’t move on, we met after three months. We both don’t want to be in a relation. But, he treats me like a girlfriend. I miss him if he doesn’t talk to me. What should Ido? SO

Jermaine Jacob Johnson, (or to give him his wrestling title, Triple’s), wrote in his book, Particles That Matter, that, we can give any label and title to things we want to do. However, what we land up doing is the actual truth. Not what we planned to do. For example Triple J wanted to be a chartered accountant. But after 378 failed attempts, did the next best thing, and became a wrestler. You miss him, he can’t leave you alone. So it’s clear that inspite of your break-up, you guys are together. So stop lying to yourselves, and face the fact, that you two are a proper, real, item. Three and a half years, seals the deal.