‘If a bond is gone, it’s gone’

I am a 20-year-old boy. I have a crush on a girl in my college and recently, she confessed that she also likes me. However, I don’t know if I am still over my ex, who also happens to study in the same college. What should I do? Should I wait for my ex or start afresh? MS

MS, I have a question for you. If you are experiencing pain in your tummy, or a pain in your ankle, or if you are having trouble swallowing, whom can I get this information from? The answer is you. Only you know your tummy is paining. No point asking your neighbour, or a guy in Calicut called Hose Cherian, or Ranveer Singh, or checking on Google. The fact is that everything about you, originates from you. So, only you can tell yourself, and me, and your Facebook followers, and a guy in Calicut called Hose Cherian, and Ranveer Singh, and Google, whether you still like your ex. Here’s a hint however, the fact that you wrote in about this, means she’s still available for team selection.

I am a 25-year-old man and I have been dating a girl for the last two years. However, things are not that smooth as before and she has started behaving a lot more distant these days. We have had a discussion about ending things, but she says that she doesn’t want to leave me. But now, I am not able to feel that connection with her. What should I do? HP

Marnus Po, an architect from Abbysaria gave us the concept of ‘tug of war’. He tried many options before finally fine-tuning the concept. First, he had five slaves hold one end of a rope, while standing at the edge of a cliff. They all fell down into the ravine below, as no one was attached to the other end of the rope. He then put two teams of five at both ends of the rope, and made them pull. This time the losing team was thrown off the cliff. HP, at the moment, it seems like you at the first stage of tug of war. You’ve already left the rope. So it is better you take the rope with you and leave. In short, if it’s over from one side, it’s over from both. Don’t force the relationship out of habit or fear. If a bond is gone, it’s gone. You’ll need to stop tiptoeing, and show some steel.

I am a 54-year-old man. I lost my wife almost 18 years back and I have a 26-year-old son. For the past seven months, I have been in a physical relationship with a 30-yearold divorcee in my office. However, now, she wants to get married to me and I don’t think I am ready for this as I feel she is too young for me. What should I do? ST

ST, why are you so hung up on age? You know a nine-yearold lion happily mates with a five- year-old lioness. In fact, I have it on good authority that lions and lionesses, never check each other’s age before mating. You seem to have found someone you like, so don’t blame age for things. You like playing “games”, with her, but you don’t want anything more. But that’s got nothing to do with age. You don’t like her enough to marry her. So be a good lion, and think long and hard, about how much you like her. One technique the Japanese Judoka, Osana Taibu came up with was, ask oneself how you’d feel if she married someone else? Still only fun and games, ST?

PHOTO: ISTOCK; FOR REPRESENTATIONAL PURPOSE ONLY