MORE THAN A BEST FRIEND!

Worried that your partner may cheat on you with your best friend? Here are a few points that people with similar dilemmas should keep in mind

We all have different sets of friends. While some are good friends, there are others who are extremely close to you. It can be your childhood buddy or someone you met during your growing years. In time, its natural that your best friend also befriends your partner. And, sometimes, this friendship between your best friend and your partner can eventually turn into an extramarital affair, where your partner is cheating on you with your best friend. There have been many such celebrity scandals; reportedly, Katie Holmes dated Jamie Foxx, when she was married to his friend Tom Cruise, and Simon Cowell had an affair with his best friend, Andrew Silverman’s wife Lauren.

Experts try and decode as to why your partner may end up cheating on you with your best friend.

THE CHANCES

According to Kavita Mungi, mental health counsellor, the chances of your partner cheating on you with your best friend depends on how attracted they are towards each other. She says, “If they find each other attractive and your partner doesn’t take any measures to curb it, he/she might cheat on you. If your partner has a roving eye and your friend is interested, then also he/she is likely to cheat you. A true and loyal friend will not cheat with a friend’s partner.”

BEEN CHEATED BEFORE?

If your partner is someone who has cheated on you in the past, you better be more careful. Mungi says, “For a partner, who has cheated once, the possibility of cheating with your best friend is far greater. A partner who cheats can generally fall out of love with you once the novelty of attraction in your relationship is lost. If your best friend reciprocates the interest, cheating is a cakewalk.”

IS YOUR FRIEND INTERESTED?

You can always gauge if your friend is interested in your partner. Mungi says that you can understand this when your friend is talking about your partner. Pointing out a few signs, she says, “Your best friend could be interested in your partner if they keep praising your partner while putting you down or try to meet him/her when you aren’t around.”

IS YOUR PARTNER INTERESTED?

In certain scenarios, your partner could be also interested in your friend. Mungi says, “If your partner takes an undue interest in your friend, checks on their whereabouts, offers gifts, etc., it clearly indicates that your partner might be interested in your friend.”

NOT INTERESTED

At times, if you find that your partner’s friend is interested in you or vice versa, there is always a way in which you can turn down their overtures. Psychiatrist Gittanjali Saxena says, “If your partner’s friend is showing interest in you, it’s best that you speak about it to your partner. In case you don’t want your partner and his friend’s bond to be affected, maybe, you can have a word with the best friend and explain it to them that you really love and care for your partner and that you are very clear about your boundaries.”

SAVE IT EARLY

Since your relationship with your partner is more important than that with your friend, if he/she is drifting towards your friend, you can always tackle it before it’s too late. Aman Bhonsle, consulting psychosocial analyst, says, “Communicate with your partner. The only way to safeguard your relationship is to take care of different facets such as a partner’s sexual needs, social expectations, ideas of love, how they like love to be expressed, etc.”

AFFECTS YOU

Cheating, especially with a friend that you trust, can affect you psychologically. Saxena says, “Mentally, it can be quiet overwhelming as your trust has been violated by both your best friend as well as your partner. It makes you feel low and leads to lack of self-worth, which can be quiet difficult to deal with.”

EXPERTS SUGGEST THAT YOU SHOULD SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AT AN EARLY STAGE.

PHOTO: ISTOCK; FOR REPRESENTATIONAL PURPOSE ONLY