HOW TO SLIP OUT OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

The Delhi fridge murder case shows getting away from an abusive partner can be tough. Experts share how to protect yourself

Chilling details emerging from the Delhi fridge murder case, where a 28-yearold Aaftab Amin Poonawala, murdered his livein partner Shraddha Walkar (26), throw light on how it becomes difficult to identify abuse in a relationship. As per reports, neighbours claimed that the couple often fought and argued, while Walkar’s friends also mentioned instances of them being in an abusive relationship.

If it was indeed as bad as the reports claim, why didn’t Walkar see the signs? Clinical psychologist Pulkit Sharma, explains, “There are many reasons for it. First, couples develop a relationship where the victim undergoes regression. The abused person forms an acute dependency on their partner. Second, there is the fear of loneliness. The person feels that having an abusive partner, is better than not having any. Third, their self-confidence takes a bad hit and they feel they can’t be in a better relationship.”

Why does it become difficult to leave? “It’s more challenging when you’ve been physically threatened, isolated from your loved ones, psychologically depleted, and not in charge of your finances,” answers Jyoti Kapoor, a senior psychiatrist from Gurugram.

KNOW THE RED FLAGS

Whether you’re ready to leave an abusive relationship or not, there are ways to protect yourself:

Read the signs: Watch out for any indications, where your abuser may be about to explode in anger or violence.

Make believable reasons for leaving the house. Identify safe spaces: Know where to go if your abuser attacks or starts an argument. Avoid small, enclosed spaces without exits, or rooms with weapons. If possible, head to a room with a phone and a door or window. Create a code word: Establish a word, phrase, or signal to let your children, friends, neighbours, or coworkers know that you’re in danger and they should call the police.

It’s challenging when you’ve been physically threatened, isolated from your loved ones, and not in charge of your finances.

JYOTI KAPOOR,

Senior psychiatrist

List out emergency contacts: Ask trusted people if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, or help contacting the police. Memorise the numbers of your emergency contacts, local shelter and domestic violence hotline. Protect your privacy: You can protect your privacy by calling from a friend’s or neighbour’s phone. Keep an alternate phone. Keep changing your username and passwords.

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